Stage 5: Beauty in the Journey and Purpose in the Pain
Stage 5: Beauty in the Journey and Purpose in the Pain
This stage is still ahead for us on our traveling the country in an RV adventure and beyond. Sure, the adventure, experiences, and family time will be a tremendous blessing. But I think God has bigger plans than just that. After-all, I don’t think He pried our hands off of our beloved home and property just to give our family a 9-month adventure. (Although I plan to enjoy it immensely!) No, I think He needed to free us up for much bigger things. I don’t know exactly what that looks like yet, but I’m looking forward to finding out. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy this little adventure.
In every episode of the Hope Anew Disability Podcast we say, “We believe there is beauty in the journey and purpose in the pain.” Let me assure you, those are some hard-fought words that I absolutely could not have comprehended, let alone said or created during the first several years of our journey in special needs. So, if you read or hear that and think I must be delusional or crazy, you’re in good company. My former self would agree with you.
When I was in the earlier stages of this journey and I heard parents of kids with special needs talk about special needs being a blessing and how they have learned so much from their child. I would bitterly think that they either: 1. Had an easier journey than we had, 2. Were living in denial, or 3. Were making lemonade out of lemons and refusing to acknowledge the lemons were rotten (so I guess we’re back to denial).
Maybe you’ve reached this stage and can easily see and share with others the beauty in your journey and the purposes God has had in allowing, and maybe even intentionally giving, the pain. This phrase resonates with you and you love it. Maybe you aren’t there yet and this phrase stirs up anger or bitterness. If you fall into the second group, try to put that aside for the next couple of minutes and attempt to take in the perspective of those who have walked the journey ahead of you. Because I have seen parents reach this stage time and time again. It usually takes years and involves some pretty messy struggles and stages to get there, but it is where the journey leads if you keep traveling and working through the ugly, messy stuff.
In this stage parents find:
They can help encourage others who are traveling this journey.
They have purpose in their lives and see purpose in their child’s life.
They see the gifts of their child.
They see the gifts other “disabled” (because some of them have abilities abled people will never have) people, bring to the world.
They are forever changed in how they accept, love, and value others.
They not only see the eternal value and blessings of life, but the value and blessings that exist now, even in this broken world.
Their view of God has expanded.
They understand God used pain and hardship to grow and refine their character, their perspective, their attitudes and that they are a different (and much better) person because of it.
They would never choose to go back to the person they were before.
They understand there is mystery in God’s plan that they may never understand this side of heaven, but they have learned He is worthy of their trust, even when they can’t see ahead and don’t understand.
They can see the beauty in their journey.
They can see purposes in their pain (and sometimes in the pain of their child).
They have built a new life. They are living a different life and dream than what they had originally envisioned when they were pregnant or getting ready to adopt. Yes, there are things they’d like to do that they won’t ever be able to do. But they’ve learned to enjoy other things that they can do. Yes, there will be things that are hard and continue to be hard. Yes, that makes them continually look forward to the day we go to heaven and all that pain and brokenness is forever ended. But they’ve learned, in the meantime, to see the beauty along the way and that the pain isn’t useless but has great purpose.
Written by Sarah McGuire
If you missed Stage 4, you can find it here.
