It’s Going to Be a Different Kind of Mother’s Day

It’s going to be a different kind of Mother’s Day for you this year.

God whispered those words to me as I waddled into the doctor’s office in early May of 1982. Never mind that my husband and I wouldn’t see our first child until May 23. My husband and I had felt our baby’s kicks for months. God’s whisper assured me that I was already a mother.

What I didn’t realize when God spoke to me was that He was preparing me for what only He knew was coming. Our baby would be born with a serious birth condition. It would make every Mother’s Day for several more years very different from what I expected. 

Some would be spent in the hospital with our medically fragile baby.

Some would be spent debating whether or not we should rush him to the hospital.

Some would be spent rejoicing that our miracle baby had become a healthy adult.

All would be spent realizing that had our boy been born in a different day and age, we would have had him with us for only a few days.

As the second Sunday in May approaches this year, I hear God whispering to me once again. 

It’s going to be a different kind of Mother’s Day for you this year, Jolene.

This time, God’s not referring to our son. He’s doing well. This time God is talking about my mother.

She is 94 and believes she is 103.

She is in hospice care.

She has lost over twenty pounds in the last four months.

She is, I know, soon to leave this world.

This is going to be a different kind of Mother’s Day, the last in a string of 66 years celebrating with her on this earth. As the day approaches, I can’t quit thinking about the similarities being with her in her long term care facility and being with my infant son during his many hospital stays. Things like…

Spooning Cheerios and only Cheerios into their mouths at breakfast.

Finding ways to keep them from falling out of bed.

Opening window shades each morning to let the light in.

Shopping for clothes to fit their constantly changing bodies.

Talking to doctors about medication changes.

Reading picture books that lead to delighted smiles.

Stroking their cheeks when they cry out in pain.

Holding their hands while they get injections.

Getting a care professional to clean them up when needed.

Pushing a call button for trips to the bathroom.

Sitting beside their beds and wishing I could do more.

Beyond all those similarities, these are the things that stand out to me. 

The absolute privilege of caring for my vulnerable loved ones. 

The absolute assurance of being right where I should be.

The absolute presence of God with us.

The absolute holiness of the first and last days of a life.

The absolute certainty that while Mother’s Day 1982 and 2023 were and are different from others I’ve known, God crafted them for my son and mother’s best good, to His great glory.

Written by Jolene Philo

Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.