The Shell Of Many Colors

“He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay.”

(Matt., 28:6, ESV).

This past Good Friday I had my son with me for an overnight visit. Being a now divorced dad, there are many challenges that naturally come up, but one very important one is how our autistic son will be supported in his Christian faith. For my part, I have sought out a new church with a special needs ministry that we could attend together, try to keep up with Bible reading when we can, and of course celebrate the holidays.

For a change, I decided to attempt coloring Easter eggs with him on my own for the first time. It might not seem to be any big deal to parents of typical kids, but in our house doing something as trivial as coloring easter eggs can be a big job. While I know my son understands what coloring Easter eggs is over all of these years, he still struggles with the motor control to independently control and dip the eggs, and of course he deals with sensory issues which encourage him to want to stick his hands in and splash the water. But I still felt it was an important bonding activity for the two of us, so I purchased the eggs and the kit, set up everything as orderly and neatly as I could, and we endeavored to color some eggs. Since he is non-verbal, I also set up his Ipad with his communication app next to the setup, so that he could tell me what colors he wanted to use. When it was all ready and I called him over to the table, I of course took the obligatory picture of him pointing to the colors that he liked best.

An activity like this could truthfully be pretty quick, as I just ask my son the colors he likes, assist him in dipping them into the coloring, and lay them down to dry, simple. But as people of faith, I want him to know that this is about more than just doing something fun. The eggs represent rebirth and new life, and more specifically the act of Jesus coming out of the tomb on Resurrection Sunday. I paused to reflect though on what this  meant for me and my son doing this together, as that visual of emerging from the egg had bigger connotations in that moment. I thought about this hopefully being the beginning of the end of the covid pandemic, and our whole population coming out of quarantine. I also thought about my son’s own condition as a non verbal child, and how him being able to use his device to communicate his wants was also a way of him coming out of the shell of his speech impediment. 

Watching the eggs dry, I gazed as the wet colors settled on the shells, forming their intricate swirls and patterns, contemplating their uniqueness. Just like each one of those eggs, they are unique and beautiful in their own way, manifesting the colors of God’s love, wrapping around the hardened shells of doubt and fear. It is a wonderful reminder that everything can change in the blink of an eye, as soon the shells will break, and the tomb will open, revealing the glory that was hidden inside.

Written by John Felageller

Follow John on his website: www.johnfelageller.com

Behold I Make All Things New

“And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Rev., 21:5, ESV).

One of our favorite past times as a family is to visit the Botanical Gardens near our home in the Chicago suburbs. It is a huge space of grounds that covers many acres of forest preserve land, complete with a variety of gardens, wooded trails and greenhouses. As teachers (or former teachers!) we are always took advantage of free entry with our ID, and it has been a great place to take our autistic son whenever he needed a motor break or just needed to be outside. 

This year, we had a much different experience, as the Gardens hosted a new light show called Lightscape which unlike previous years where they had just stung up a variety of holiday lights, this was essentially a giant light show through the entire grounds, including whole displays timed to music, lighted shapes and designs placed along the walkways and trails, and even a light “cathedral” which featured hundreds of strings of lights that covered a long open gazebo.

We were excited to bring our son since it was something totally new, and we knew how much he loved both the outdoors but also music and lights. As we entered the grounds on a chilly Thursday evening, we were struck by how sophisticated and lovely the show was, and our son was so entranced by all of the sensory experiences that he continually produced a giant smile on his face. The best part was when he stood mesmerized at a fiber optics display that was set up along the rocks of an outdoor fountain, just standing and watching the lights flow down the rocks like water.

In that moment, I was reminded by how unique and special this light display had made an otherwise regular feature in the garden that my son would have seen hundreds of times before. It was the same, but different, it had been recreated, transformed and essentially made “new” right before my son’s eyes. 

This experience reminded me of some powerful lessons this holiday season. While we always come back to the birth of Christ at Christmas as our source for eternal hope, I find it all too easy to get lost in the craziness of the celebrations.

This year, I was forced to look at this season in a new light, as my wife and me began the unfortunate process of divorce in November. I personally struggled to find hope when all I could feel was my own personal pain, suffering and anger, but a visit to one of my favorite places helped to lighten my mood. But it did more than that, as I watched my son’s amazement at the incredible light show that had changed a very familiar location into something completely new and different. It had become changed in ways I couldn’t have expected, and I was brought back to a place of peace and remembering the promise we have in our lives being reborn. It is in moments such as this that I am reminded of the promise that He will literally remake everything, and all we must do is to show up, be aware, and behold the goodness of His promises.

Written by John Felageller

John lives in Northbrook, IL and is currently a Social Programs Manager at Total Link 2 Community in Chicago, IL.  He is a regular contributor to Key Ministry’s Special Needs Family blog, and is both a live presenter and on Key Ministry’s Facebook page. He coordinates a Special Needs Dads meet-up in his community and works with several other local Special Needs organizations that serve both parents and children.

Connect with John on his Facebook page here.