A Father's Love
For the father with special needs kids, where the acts of great love include cleaning up poopy messes from a teen or adult child, taking an extra shift or an extra job to pay for therapies, coming home from work to step into a home that is more work and give his wife a break, the unrelenting pressures to be there, to provide, to support, but not be able to fix. He can’t fix, but he can and does love. And that means everything.
Written by Sarah McGuire
What does the word “father” or “dad” mean to you? What images, memories or feelings does it conjure up? For some of you it brings the most wonderful feelings of being loved, cared for and protected. For others, it stirs up hurt, fear, abandonment, or anger. For yet others, it may be a mix of the two. What I know to be true is, if you had a good dad, you cherish him. If you didn’t, you wish you did.
That brings me to the question, what makes a good dad? A recent podcast interview (that will be airing the first Monday in July) that Jonathan and I did with the founder of 21st Century Dads focused on dads and concluded with talking about a “good dad” coin that they offer for sale that features the words: love, honesty, patience and commitment. Love is the defining attribute in this list that the other traits expound.
Our culture has lost, diluted and redefined the meaning of the word “love”. It is not only an emotion but is much more an action. I Corinthians 13:4-7 defines love as patient and kind. Not jealous, boastful, proud or rude. Not keeping track of wrongs done. Not glad for injustice but rejoicing when truth wins. “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.”
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa
For the father with special needs kids, where the acts of great love include cleaning up poopy messes from a teen or adult child, taking an extra shift or an extra job to pay for therapies, coming home from work to step into a home that is more work and give his wife a break, the unrelenting pressures to be there, to provide, to support, but not be able to fix. He can’t fix, but he can and does love. And that means everything.
I don’t remember the situation that caused it, but I remember having an especially rough day when I was upper elementary or middle school age. I was crushed. I flopped on my bed and cried my eyes out for a while before getting ready for bed. When I returned to my room after showering, I found my extensive stuffed animal collection which was normally very tidily arranged down in a corner, dispersed to every wall, shelf, drawer, curtain rod, and surface of my room with the animals arranged in various comical actions. My dad couldn’t fix whatever caused my crushed tweenage heart, but his simple action and involvement reminded me I was valued and loved. Thirty years later, that memory still makes me feel loved.
Dads, you may not be able to fix whatever is troubling your family, but being there and showing up consistently, lovingly, patiently for the good times and the hard times makes you a hero.
Of course, the ultimate example of a father’s love is our heavenly Father. I John 4:7-10 tells us, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love – not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” This is love. It involves choice, sacrifice, and often putting others’ needs ahead of our own. And regardless of your earthly dad, you have a heavenly Dad who has done that for you. And a Brother who has as well. If you haven’t met them and would like to, feel free to contact us. We’d love to introduce you.
Remember dads, you don’t have to do great things to be a great dad, just small things with great love!
“It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” …or relocates her stuffed animals.
– John Sinor…and Sarah McGuire
Written by Sarah McGuire
