Thoughts For This New Year
Resolutions. I never stick to them. I have sincere intentions about improvements I want to make in my life, but that format of resolving and proclaiming to do it never has worked for me.
Written by BreAnn Tassone
Resolutions. I never stick to them. I have sincere intentions about improvements I want to make in my life, but that format of resolving and proclaiming to do it never has worked for me.
This new year comes with so many prayers for a better experience for us all. Having that much expectation of our hopes and dreams placed on the new year, the last thing any of us need is the feeling of ,yet again, another failed attempt at a resolution. So, this year I’m trying something new.
If there’s anything we can all take away from 2020 is that there are many more ways than one way to do something. We have learned to think outside of the box, to make it work with what we’ve got, and how to adapt. I’ve used those freshened skills to construct my New Year Checklist.
To me, a checklist gives you some time. The items on the list are there until you’ve completed them and crossed them off. There is also an end. It isn’t this proclamation to live up to from now until eternity. It’s just a list of things you’d like to get done. Here goes!
My 2021 New Year Checklist
Begin (and maybe finish, but not a requirement) a crocheting project.
Read for pleasure.
Sew something for each of my children.
Continue to work on forgiving those who have never asked for my forgiveness.
Show up. Refuse to cancel.
Continue to write.
Sing every chance I get. Anytime and anyplace I’m asked.
Create the peaceful home setting I yearn for. Do this by being conservative with screen time, filling the home with comforting scents and calming music, and building a reading culture within my family.
Spend more time cooking with my daughter and foster her already strong interest.
Create more opportunities to enjoy the outdoors with my son.
Put on my makeup every single day.
Touch base with forever friends at least monthly.
Fill in my daughters baby book (Yikes! She’s turning four in February and not one stroke of an ink pen has hit the pages in her book).
Spend a portion of each day in meditation and focused, specific prayer.
Find opportunities to volunteer within my community.
Finally join the church that we’ve been visiting for two and half years.
Make it a priority to meet a friend for coffee.
Create a realistic weekly cleaning schedule.
Make those important medical appointments!
Forgive myself. Allow myself grace when needed.
Breathe.
There it is. My 21 things for this new 2021 year. My kids have checklists for everything. This one is mine. They are mostly self care items and very personal to me and my life, and that’s intentional. Yours will look different than mine, but as a caregiver we must endeavor to care for ourselves, too. Special needs parents and parents of children that are medically fragile, need to make a point to care for themselves. This list is my way of attempting to do that.
To be totally honest, some of these items have been on my to-do list for a few years now. Our daily plates are pretty full. The time just isn’t always there to follow through. That’s why the list is good. If it doesn’t get checked off this year, it just rolls over to next year. And as I go back over my list, it really boils down to an attempt to improve my day to day experience, to take care of long overdue business and prioritize the right things in my use of down time.
May your new year be one of peace and hope. May you find little corners of time to pamper yourself, even if that means to stop and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. May you grow in your faith and hold strong to it when fear and doubt inevitably creep in. We don’t know what will come tomorrow, so let’s be the very best version of ourselves today. When we can’t be, maybe we can allow ourselves the grace to pause, and tackle more of our list tomorrow. Happy New Year.
Written by BreAnn Tassone
BreAnn is a wife and mother to two beloved children. Her 8 year old son is twice exceptional and has been diagnosed with PANS/PANDAS, and her 3 year old daughter is his most incredible advocate. They both bring joy to this world in their own individual ways. BreAnn lives with her family in central Virginia. She is a former Special Education teacher and serves as a volunteer at her church within the special needs ministry. She is a homeschooler and coordinates groups and events within her community to support the childhood experience of her neighbors and friends. It is her conviction that all children benefit when all children are included, accepted and can live this life learning from and supporting each other.
One Word That Can Change Your Year – Part 1
It’s a new year. The start of a new year comes with thoughts of fresh starts, new beginnings, and new or renewed goals. I always look ahead toward the upcoming year with thoughts of what I want the coming year to include for myself and my family and what next steps in life would be good for us.
While that is all true of this year as well, this year has a different feel for me – what about you?
Written by Sarah McGuire
It’s a new year. The start of a new year comes with thoughts of fresh starts, new beginnings, and new or renewed goals. I always look ahead toward the upcoming year with thoughts of what I want the coming year to include for myself and my family and what next steps in life would be good for us.
While that is all true of this year as well, this year has a different feel for me – what about you?
I’m a little less optimistic of where things are headed in our country and world. Christianity is becoming more and more criticized and unpopular. Darkness and evil in our society are growing and becoming more commonly accepted. Within and between Christian groups, there is increasing division and lack of vision.
The year 2020 was a HARD year for the world and our country. Personally, I’m not expecting 2021 to be easier. I see darkness and chaos growing and spreading. BUT, in darkness, light shines even brighter! Light offers hope in dark times. A lighthouse isn’t built to help ships during the daylight, but during the night. While evil and darkness may be increasing, our foundation, our solid rock, Jesus, does not change. Our hope is secure.
That doesn’t mean we won’t experience hard things, but it does mean we don’t need to be consumed by them. Yet, when we live day in, day out in hard, disheartening, all-consuming things it’s hard to hold onto that hope. So how do we do that?
Personally, 2020 was an incredibly difficult year with a lot of personal loss that was all-consuming for a few months. I made a resolution that I would NOT complain about my new circumstances (I started here) and that I WOULD be thankful (I got this this a little later). Truthfully, I could feel that I was being consumed by negativity and it was my attempt to change that. It was absolutely the right thing to do. And this year, in 2021, I want to take that even further.
Each year I choose a theme word or verse for the year. This year, my word is THANKFUL! Being thankful requires action and intentional thought. It doesn’t just happen, and it doesn’t come automatically. It takes disciplined thought processes and if it hasn’t been a habit, it takes time and practice to changes those negative, complaining thought patterns and to create thankful, appreciative thought patterns. But it CAN be done, and it will change your brain and your life!
We read, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” in I Thessalonians 5:18. Philippians 4:8 says, …“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Being thankful is an act of fixing our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable.
In the Hope Anew Online Community, during the month of January, our theme is Thankful! Each week I’m posting a video about what I’m learning about being thankful and how I’m applying it to my life. We’d love to have you join the Community and a group of parents who “get it” as we grow and learn together through the extra challenge of being caregivers.
Written by Sarah McGuire
Sarah McGuire is the Mom of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that guides parents to Christ-centered hope and healing. You can follow Hope Anew on Facebook here. You can also check out Hope Anew’s Online Community here!
Due to COVID-19, Hope Anew is waiving all membership fees for the community!
One Tip To Keep From Feeling Overwhelmed
How did you start the new year off…motivated or overwhelmed?
Written by Jonathan McGuire
How did you start the new year off…motivated or overwhelmed?
When the new year rings in, it’s not uncommon to be asked if you made new year resolutions. Upon being asked this, you may be thinking to yourself that your biggest goal is to make it to when your child goes to sleep…let alone set a resolution for the whole year.
I can relate to those days. When our son was doing the worst, the goal of making it to when he was asleep was even too long term of a goal, especially since he would only sleep 15 minutes at a time. Sarah’s goal was to make it through the next second, the next minute. One minute at a time was all she could think about.
You may find yourself in a similar position. If you do, then I’m guessing your answer to the first question in the article was overwhelmed.
There are many tips out there for helping with the feeling of being overwhelmed ranging from self-care, time management, prioritizing what you do, eliminating unnecessary activities, creating routines and the list goes on. Many of these things are helpful and I may even write a future article about some of them but there is one place to start.
I recently read the following quote from Charles Stanley,
“I’ve had short periods in my life when a particular problem or situation would cause me nights of tossing and turning, hour after hour unable to sleep. I’ve discovered the best thing I can do when I can’t seem to let go of thinking about a particular problem, conversation, or criticism, is to get out of bed, get down on my knees, and cry out to God: ‘Please help me through this. Help me focus on You alone.’ Sleep comes when my focus is on the Lord and how He’d have me think or respond to a particular situation…Thinking about the Lord brings a person peace. Thinking about anything else is usually a shortcut to anxiety, fear, or worry.”
If you are starting off the new year feeling overwhelmed, remember this one thing.
God is with you. He is with you in the day to day. He is with you as you sit on the store floor holding your child in the midst of a meltdown. He is with you as you are listening to the sounds of monitors to make sure your child is alright. He is with you as you are trying to figure out how you are going to make your rent payment with finances so tight. He is with you when your marriage has shattered. God is with…YOU and loves you. Focus on Him when you are feeling overwhelmed.
“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
~ Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT)
Written by Jonathan McGuire
Jonathan McGuire is the father of two sons and the co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that comes alongside the parents of children impacted by disability on a spiritual and emotional level. You can follow Hope Anew on Facebook here.
Hope Anew has launched the Hope Anew Online Community and would love to have you be a part of it! You can learn more at www.HopeAnew.com.
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS WITH A TWIST
This year, I want you to give yourself permission to look after you and do some things you enjoy without feeling guilty. Our tendency is to always focus on our children and their needs but if we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be there for the long haul with our children.
The new year has come and with it comes conversations about New Year’s resolutions. There are some very intentional folks out there who set aside time to think over the previous year and set goals for the upcoming year. There are other individuals that are more whimsical and just wing it, putting together a list of things on the spot when someone asks them what their New Year’s resolutions are. Typically, resolutions focus on health, finances, and relationships and often are very lofty goals that almost no one accomplishes. In fact, one source states that only 8% of people accomplish their list of resolutions!
It is easy to be fatalistic about new year resolutions given the low level of success. I admit that I am often the first to scoff at the idea of making a New Year’s resolution but I don’t want to minimize the need to set goals. As parents of children impacted by special needs, our resolutions may need to be more down to earth and have a different focus but in some ways it can be even more important for us.
So without further ado, I want to give you some ideas for New Year’s resolutions with a twist.
• This year, on those days I am seriously stressed, I am going to eat the WHOLE bar of dark chocolate with my coffee!
• Once a month, I will soak in a hot bubble bath with my earphones on so I can’t hear my screaming child (please note that said screaming child is safe and no harm will come to him).
• Instead of joining a men’s basketball team, I will set up the trashcan across the room and perfect that jump shot with my child’s diapers.
• If married, I will regularly take an evening out by myself while my spouse stays home with the kids, and I’ll encourage my spouse to do so as well.
• Each week, I will look for something to laugh about. This may come from my own life or it may require googling a funny video or comic.
• I will put together my own special music playlist on my smartphone or iPod that I can jam to when I need a break.
• I will stay off social media during times of high societal stress (elections, etc.) and will not follow those people on social media who drain my energy.
• This year I will download a fun audiobook…and actually listen to it.
• I will watch a movie of my choosing and not my child’s.
• I will get a massage at least once this year.
• I will try something new that I have always wanted to do but never have.
You may have noticed a theme with the above resolutions. Not to say that you won’t want to have other resolutions but this year, I want you to give yourself permission to look after you and do some things you enjoy without feeling guilty. Our tendency is to always focus on our children and their needs but if we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be there for the long haul with our children.
Let’s be real, with everything on our plates as parents of children impacted by special needs, the odds are not real high that we will achieve our new year resolutions. However, the first step in accomplishing something great or small is to set a goal. Michael Hyatt shared in a recent training that he provided that when we write down our goals, we are 42% more likely to achieve them. Look at the list above, what are two or three things you can set as your goal for caring for yourself this year or are there other things you can do? Now, write them down and put them somewhere you will see them.