The Prayers You Say Waiting at the Food Counter
One of the most challenging things to do as a special needs parent is to take your child out to crowded public places, specifically restaurants, as there is frequently a great deal of stimulus and activity.
Written by John Felageller
“And those servants went out into the roads and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good. So the wedding hall was filled with guests.” (Matt. 22:10 ESV)
One of the most challenging things to do as a special needs parent is to take your child out to crowded public places, specifically restaurants, as there is frequently a great deal of stimulus and activity. There are also lots of variables, even when you go to a place you’ve been to before and your child is experienced with, as everyday can bring something different. But when you go to a completely new place, then it can quickly feel like the whole world is up for grabs, and you do your best to try to assess the situation quickly.
One recent weekend, I found myself in a new restaurant with my son and while I was excited to eat there with him, I realized the difficulties that were going to come with it soon after we entered.
It was relatively empty with only a few tables being used in the main dining area, but I still chose a table as far back as possible as I have become accustomed to, and told him to wait while I ordered the food. I raced up to the counter and began to scan the rather full menu and made choices as quickly as possible, when all of a sudden I heard a peculiar sound. I turned to the side to glance over at my son, assuming the worst, and standing there I observed my son having opened a folding door near our table. The folding door covered up some mechanical things in the restaurant and he had become very curious with the machinery, and the folding door. I quickly put my order in, paid and ran back over to my son to let him know to stop and he couldn’t do that, but the whole time in between the ordering and getting back to the table seemed like forever. I could have easily just screamed across the restaurant at him but I didn’t want to embarrass him, yet I couldn’t help but start to feel embarrassed anyway.
I went right back up to the counter to wait for the food, and grabbed all of my necessary cutlery and napkins and such, and went right back to the table while we waited for the food to arrive, changing the apps on his Ipad to keep him distracted. The food came a few minutes later and that instantly calmed him, as usual, and we proceeded to have a relaxing time. That is, until it was time for him to be done, and after sitting for an extended time deciding he was done and needing to get up and walk. I promptly cleaned up and we went to the bathroom and left, getting through another meal the same way we usually do, but also grateful that we didn’t have a scene with him opening the closet door earlier. But as we walked out I remembered that not one person made a comment to us the entire time we were there, and I considered that maybe even after all these as a special needs parent, I still struggle.
I struggle with my son being called out for bad behavior, or actions that just don’t look normal, or with myself for appearing like some frantic parent who can’t handle their child. But the fact remains that when no one makes those comments, and when we can get in and out of a restaurant without a comment or even a look, I wonder to myself, am I trusting the prayers I say while i wait at the food counter? Am I believing in the God I pray to that he is hearing me when I struggle with those experiences, and remember the power in the prayers that I say when I need his help the most? It is a solemn wake up call for me, that the God I pray to once reminded us that all should be invited to the wedding feast, so that every table, and every heart, was full.
Written by John Felageller
