You Are Not Alone – Join a Group that “Gets It!”
A friend looked at me and said, “Your whole faith foundation is shaking, as if you have no firm ground to stand on, isn’t it?” Written by Sarah McGuire
A friend looked at me and said, “Your whole faith foundation is shaking, as if you have no firm ground to stand on, isn’t it?” She’s the only one who knew and I hadn’t told her. I was so fearful others would find out I was questioning God and the very building blocks of my faith in Him. I was so ashamed I had these questions and doubts. My relationship with God had been my entire life. It had shaped my education, life goals, and daily rhythms. And now, I didn’t know what was true anymore.
Oh, I knew the book answers. I had graduated top of my class with a B.A. in Bible/Theology and another with a M.A. in Biblical Counseling. I went to a good Bible-teaching church, but it wasn’t meeting me where I was at. It didn’t get to the practical daily life questions that had become my struggle in the two years since my son with additional needs had been born and my world had flipped upside down. I felt so alone. Alone with my questions. Big, deep, scary God-questions. Doubts. Fears. Struggles. Life circumstances with no apparent answers. No way out.
My friend promised to pray for me, no judgement, just loving concern. That’s the best response she could have given. My questions were so deep that quick, simple answers were not going to solve them. It’s been over ten years since that conversation. I spent many of those years wrestling with God. I’ve found the answers to my faith questions and my relationship with God is stronger and truer than it was before.
As my husband, Jonathan, and I have talked with other parents of kids with disabilities or special needs, we’ve learned that I was definitely not alone with my questions and struggles. Questions and struggles not only in relation to God, but also in relation to how to navigate this life as a parent with a child who has additional needs. But, who do we go to with our questions? Who do we go to for support on days when life is overwhelming and often others just don’t “get it”?
Hope Anew is launching an online community for parents of kids with disabilities or special needs. A laugh together, cry together, pray together community.
Some features of the community include:
Forums/Chat room
Subgroups for more specific areas of interest (residential care, adoption, etc)
Quarterly master classes
Soul Care events with sharing and prayer
Answers to questions that can’t be googled
Monthly themes related to parenting kids with additional needs
And more…
Come join us in the Hope Anew Online Community, where together we are building the most encouraging, real, hope-filled way for parents of children (of all ages) impacted by disabilities or special needs to engage with a group that “gets it!”
For more information go to www.HopeAnew.com. You can also find us on Facebook and can glean from others who have walked this path on the Hope Anew Disability Podcast.
Written by Sarah McGuire
Angels or One-To-One Aides
One of the great things about the summer for our kids is the opportunity to attend a camp, whether it is an overnight go-away camp or just a local day camp through a church or private organization. Written by John Felageller
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121 ESV)
One of the great things about the summer for our kids is the opportunity to attend a camp, whether it is an overnight go-away camp or just a local day camp through a church or private organization.
It is, however, a challenge for our special needs kids because of the extra support they require, and it is a real blessing when they have a qualified one-to-one aide to support them there. But there is always a fair deal of anxiety, at least for me, since even when it is a camp with a special needs focus, you still wonder if the person will be a match for our child.
This year, our 11 year old non-verbal autistic son attended one week of a day camp at our local YMCA, along with some other special needs friends from his school community. I thought it would be great initially, since I thought it would be a wonderful experience, but I didn’t relax until my wife let me know who his one-to-one aide was, his Special Olympics swim coach. This is a man who runs a wonderful program at the YMCA for our special needs kids with private swim lessons and also coaches and trains them to compete, and above all else he is a loving and a caring man.
The week my son attended camp turned out to be one of the highlights of our year, as every day we received pictures his coach would send us of him engaged in a variety of activities, including sports in the gym and on the field, swimming and games. The tears would fill my eyes as I saw the evidence of my son interacting with his peers in typical ways, not looking out of place or unhappy with his surroundings, but with huge smiles and the joy of a child at play. My favorite memory is the short video I received of him practicing to shoot a basketball in the gym with the help of another counselor, a skill he has really been trying to learn for sometime.
All of this would not have been possible if it wasn’t for his coach, who didn’t need to go out of his way to support just one student, but his love and kindness showed through when we needed him. It was a profound reminder that when we think something is impossible for our kids, God can make a way by bringing just the right people into our lives when necessary. Our prayers for him to have a good experience were not just answered, we were exceedingly blessed because he had the one person that fit him the best.
A week later when we were on a camping trip, I was playing with my son in the arcade room at the resort, and he was immediately drawn to the basketball shooting game way back in the corner. This is the type of game he had played many times in the past and I knew he really enjoyed playing, but many times in the past it had been somewhat difficult for him because he lacked the gross motor skills to do it easily. However as he ran up to the game now, he easily picked up the balls and pushed them up from his chest appropriately, the result being the balls traveled to the hoop and either rebounded or went right in, something that he was never successful at.
My mind immediately raced back to the video I watched with the counselor who helped practice the skill with my son repeatedly. That would not have been possible without the gift of our son’s very special one-to-one aide that showed up at just the right time and became the special “angel” we needed then.
I know there may be some activities or programs that he may not always be equipped for, but I also know that if we pray for help, help will come and we can trust that it will be better than expected.
Written by John Felageller
John lives in Northbrook, IL with his wife Elizabeth and his son Christopher (ASD), and is currently an Elementary Teacher at a Charter School in Chicago, IL. He is a regular contributor to Key Ministry’s Special Needs Family blog, and is both a live presenter and on Key Ministry’s Facebook page. He coordinates a Special Needs Dads meet-up in his community and works with several other local Special Needs organizations that serve both parents and children.
Connect with John on his Facebook page here.