A Valentine’s Day Love Story

A Valentine’s Day love story, if present day culture is to be believed, is all about candlelit dinners, chocolates, diamonds, and declarations of undying devotion. This Valentine’s Day love story is about loving a little boy who lives with anxiety, ADHD, high-functioning autism just as he is.

“Grammy,” said our 8-year-old grandson Tad when he entered our kitchen. “Someone did something terrible in the bathroom. Come see.”

His little sister followed us into the bathroom where thick rivulets of hand soap ran down the mirror above the sink. The sister denied having had anything to do with it. Another look at the miserable expression on my grandson’s face, and I sent her out of the room.

“Did you do this, Tad?”

“Yes,’ he said with tears in his eyes.

“Why did you lie?”

He began to cry. “Because I didn’t want you to get mad at me. Are you mad at me Grammy?” 

“I’m not mad at you, Tad.” I hugged him. He hugged back. “Just disappointed. Mostly because you lied, and it’s hard to trust someone who lies. You know that, right?”

He nodded.

“Let’s clean this up together.”

We talked while mopping hand soap off of the counter, the faucet, the sides of the vanity cabinet, and the wall.

“What made you do it?” I asked.

“My mind quit working, and I couldn’t stop.”

“Did you know what you were doing was wrong?”

His lip trembled. “Yes, but the naughty part of me took over.”

I took a few seconds to decide what to say. “Everybody, even grown ups, have to fight against choosing naughty things. The only human who chose the right way every time was Jesus. He did it because he was completely human and also completely God. You’re not Jesus and neither am I. We’re humans who choose to be naughty sometimes, and Jesus still loves us.”

“Do you still love me Grammy?”

I set down my rag and hugged him again. “I will always love you Tad. I may not always like what you do, but I will always love you. You know that, right?”

His arms tightened around my waist, and my torso felt his nod. When he pulled away the cleaning rag in his hand left a smear of soap on the sleeve of my sweater. 

I loved him enough not to say anything. Instead I asked him to unscrew the cap to the liquid soap dispenser. It took him a few tries but he got it done. “Now look inside.”

“It’s empty,” he said.

“I just filled it yesterday. Do you know what that means?”

His eyes widened. “I used it all.”

I got the jug of hand soap from the cleaning supply cupboard. He was surprised by how much soap it took to refill the dispenser. I said, “I know you feel bad about what you did, and I think that feeling will help you keep your mind working if you’re ever tempted to waste hand soap again. But if it does happen, I want you to tell me the truth.”

“I will. And I’ll help you clean up the mess too.”

“Good. But you’ll have to one more thing too,” I said to this little boy who loves to save his money and then go to the store with his dad to buy Legos.

“What?”

“Pay five dollars to replace the soap that was wasted. That might help you choose the right way too.”

“I love you, Grammy,” he said. “And I will to never have to pay you five dollars. But you will still love me if I do, right?””

My eyes filled with tears when he smiled at me, his expression devoid of any trace of anxiety. I knelt down, took his precious face in my hands, and said, “I will always love you, Tad. Always.”

Written by Jolene Philo

Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.