The Accidental Sleepover: How We Were Blessed By Blessing Others

One of the greatest challenges my son deals with is making relationships with his same age peers, whether typical or special needs. While he is friendly with some of the neighbor kids and a few of his friends from school, having him make “real” friends is something my wife and I are still very much working on.

We were amazed at the blessing our son received when a close friend down the street called my wife in a panic to let her know that her special needs son had an accident on their play-set in the backyard, so they had to rush him to the emergency room.  Expecting a long day and night at the hospital, the mom had asked us if we could take her other son, the typical brother, to stay with us and possibly spend the night. My wife hurriedly said, “Yes” and within several minutes came the young boy, complete with an overnight bag. We prepared for what would turn out to be our son’s first sleepover. 

Now hosting this type of a sleepover is a slightly different endeavor than those of typical kids, since our son is used to his standard routines of his favorite TV shows, iPad time, lots of eating and maybe some outside time before bed. Since our son can also not communicate verbally, it’s not always easy to figure out how he may want to interact with his friends.  

Luckily, as we inquired with the boy, we discovered that many of his favorite things were things our son enjoyed as well! One of the first things I offered him was playing games on the Nintendo Wii, which is great for my son since he enjoys a lot of the sports games that I can give him an assist with. When we suggested some other movies or shows they could watch, they were also ones our son instantly gravitated towards. And, of course, dinner time was great for bonding, as we managed to get them both to sit down for a meal.

 By the time we got to the nighttime stuff, our son went to his bed, but this time very excitedly and with a huge smile glued to his face. When my wife asked him through his iPad if he was glad his friend had come over, he confirmed with a hearty electronic “YES.”

 The next morning we all got up, had breakfast, the boys watched a little TV together and we got ready for our usual Sunday routines. Our neighbor dropped by to pick her son up to go home. Confirmation that the night was a success, came later that day when the boy let his mom know he wanted to do it again!

We then realized that our willingness to bless someone else in turn blessed us in ways we couldn’t imagine just hours earlier. Comforting others in their moment of crisis allowed our son to be comforted with a gift of friendship, and a memory of his first sleepover, accidental or not, yet totally joyful.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, ESV) 

Written by John Felageller  

You can follow John at https://www.facebook.com/johnsspecialneedsblog/

"Unexpected Blessings" In Review

Sandra People’s book, Unexpected Blessings, is a wonderful and insightful resource and guide for anyone touched by special needs. Whether you have a child with special needs, are an extended family member, or a friend. This book gives an inside look at the spiritual and emotional journey parents of a child with special needs will likely travel.

The title is Unexpected Blessings, but Sandra acknowledges and directly addresses the very real and very hard things about the journey. She ties it all back to Scripture and brings out passages and stories that show how the Bible and Biblical characters are relevant to our daily lives and our journey in disability or special needs. She provides answers to the questions and struggles parents of kids with special needs face and points to the hope and answers that are desperately needed.

“Jesus doesn’t condemn us for feeling a full range of emotions, and we shouldn’t condemn each other. It’s okay to not be okay. There is grace to meet you there.” 

- Sandra Peoples

 Sandra hits on the main topics relevant to the parent’s side of the special needs journey, including: diagnosis, heartbreak, grief, struggle with God and false belief systems, guilt, shame, fear, rest, restoration, daily how-to’s to simplify life, finding a new purpose and path forward, God’s purpose for disability, how to navigate relationships within the immediate family as well as extended family and friends, and the need to build new relationships.  

As the parent of a son with autism and a sibling of a sister with Down’s Syndrome, Sandra writes from multiple perspectives on the issues. I appreciate Sandra’s down-to-earth communication style, authenticity and transparency with the journey she and her husband have traveled.

Yet, Sandra doesn’t stop with the challenges that come with special needs. She has found that both on the other side of the struggles and within the challenges, there are great blessings, unexpected blessings. She not only has found them, she lays out the path so other parents can find them too. 

While the challenges may always be part of life with a child with special needs, those unexpected blessings bring joy to the journey and purpose in the pain. Unexpected Blessings is a wonderful guide that lets parents know it’s okay to struggle, God loves them and is for them, and there are great blessings waiting for them along the way.

“Our suffering has a purpose. It is not accidental or circumstantial. His loving, powerful hand guides us through even the hardest times. It’s on this detour you come to realize the true depth and breadth of God’s love.”  - Sandra Peoples

Written by Sarah McGuire, Co-Founder of Hope Anew