Romance, A Divine Design

As I shared last week, I’m a complete romantic. To my core. I love romantic books and movies. December rolls around and I get excited about the sappy movies that will soon be on television. Jonathan teases me saying, “Let me tell you what happens. Boy meets girl. Boy has an ugly sweater. Girl has a problem. It gets solved. They fall in love. The end.”  I grin and say, “Yup, isn’t it great! You want to watch with me?” That usually earns me a kind-hearted eye-roll. Yes, the story line is basically the same in all of them, but I don’t tire of it. I love all things about falling in love

When I find myself longing for something that seems impossible to attain or to attain fully, I find that it often points to a desire placed in me by God that will be fulfilled in eternity. I think romance is one of those longings.

The thing I love about romance is that it involves being known, chosen, desired, completely loved and adored for who you uniquely are. There is no disapproval or disappointment, only delight, delight in each other over all others.

 Throughout Scripture, there are several pictures of God’s relationship with us such as potter/clay, shepherd/sheep, father/child, as well as bridegroom and bride (that translates as “fiancé”). He has proposed. And when He returns for us, to bring us to the home He has been preparing, there will be a wedding celebration feast!

Hosea 2:16, 19-20 says, “When that day comes,” says the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’.” “I will make you my wife forever, showing you…unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine.”

 This story doesn’t just follow the typical plot line, it created the typical plot line. Boy loves girl. Girl has a problem (sin). Boy rescues girl (gives His life, pays the price owed by girl to get her out of her problem – I John 4:10). They fall in love. There’s a wedding!

Are you questioning the falling in love part? Does it feel like a long-distance relationship before the telephone? When the doctor handed you the diagnosis, your child is in surgery – again, you haven’t had a full night of sleep in years due to the breathing machine, your child has no friends and your heart breaks with their pain, when your spouse says, “I didn’t sign up for this” and leaves. It can all feel like God doesn’t care for you at all, let alone that He cares with unfailing love.

If that is where you are at, take time to contemplate that He defines love. He IS love (I John 4:8). He has chosen you and He takes “great delight in you” (Zeph. 3:17). He knows the number of hairs on your head (Matt. 10:30) and collects your tears in a bottle (Ps. 56:8) and promises to one day wipe every tear from your eye and to get rid of death, sorrow and pain forever (Rev. 21:4). How romantic is that!

 

I find that too often I walk through life consumed with my tasks and problems, totally unaware of the things my Fiancé has put all around me to show His love for me and that He’s thinking of me. If His love feels distant, ask Him to show it to you and then keep your eyes open for little things He puts in your path to say, “I love you. You are precious to me. Enjoy this, my darling”. Tonight, maybe look up in the sky and remember that your Fiancé actually did hang the moon for you.

Written by Sarah McGuire, Co-Founder of Hope Anew

Sarah McGuire  is the Mom of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that comes alongside the parents of children with additional needs on spiritual and emotional level.

Living Out Happily Ever After

Pride and Prejudice, Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, Maid in Manhattan, Sweet Home Alabama, Leap Year, While You Were Sleeping, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days these some of the movies I love and could enjoy over and over again. I’m sure you noticed a theme – romance. Yes, I’m a romantic. And not the tragic romantic type either. No Romeo and Juliet or The Notebook for me. So, I’m a romantic and an idealist. I like happy endings. If the tale is brimming with sorrow or the ending tragic, I’m never watching again.

I like idealistic relationships where man meets woman, they learn what the other person is like, some of their quirks, strengths, weaknesses, fall in love and live happily ever after. Yet, this isn’t  truly a reflection of real life is it?

 Some of it can be true, especially all the way up to the happily ever after part. But, that part is the hardest. Because “ever after” encompasses years or decades and is usually when the really hard stuff happens, all the stuff of daily life like making a living, raising kids, really learning each other’s strengths and weaknesses and how to mesh yours and his together in a way that works for both of you.

 If you add a child or two with disabilities to the mix, that’s a recipe for more stress and burden on a relationship. And if both spouses aren’t committed to the better or worse part of it, it can quickly come to The End.

How do we live out “happily ever after” when the unexpected challenges of a child with additional needs are added to our marriage? It’s simple, but not easy. It goes back to what every relationship needs: attention, time, less selfishness, looking for ways to communicate love and care to your spouse.

I don’t know about you, but it has been easy for me to overlook the needs of my husband because I got so consumed with the needs of our kids, especially when our youngest was in crisis. Crisis for him lasted for years. Yet, if we neglect to care for the relationship with our spouse, it won’t survive, or at least won’t be healthy and all that it could be. At most, it might quality for “ever after”, but without the “happily.”

 If you, like me, have neglected your spouse, I’d encourage you to find some way of letting him know you appreciate and respect him for who he is and what he does.

Here’s a few ideas:

1.     You make the arrangements for a date night he’ll enjoy, whether that’s going out or staying in.

2.     Get a candy kiss (or bag of chocolate covered coffee beans) and put it on his pillow with a note that says one or two reasons you respect and love him (i.e. “I respect you for continuing to show up to face the responsibilities of this family. You’re an amazing man, husband, and father.”)

3.     Text him during the day while he’s at work just to let him know you’re thinking of him and appreciate what a hard worker he is.

4.     Slip a short love note in his underwear so when he goes to get dressed in the morning he has a nice surprise to start his day and knows he’s been thought of. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Small sticky notes work well.

Pick one that fits your family and, even better, your husband’s love language! What ideas have you tried with success?

Written by Sarah McGuire, Co-Founder of Hope Anew