We Are In God's Loving Hands, Always

One of the hats that special needs parents wear is that of a risk assessment manager.  Depending on the special needs your child has, this looks different.  In our case, without even knowing that I’m assessing risk, I am nearly always assessing and maneuvering around potential meltdown triggers, dangers and needs. It’s amazing how fast I can survey an environment and pinpoint each and every possible worst case scenario.  How fast I then come up with a contingency plan for each possibility and a plan for continued vigilance and surveillance until our time there is over.  I am always two steps ahead in my mind.  Many times the worst case never happens, but many times I’m right on and I am ready.  My kiddo sees these risky spots just as quickly as I do, it seems.  He is also super vigilant in his surveillance of a room. For this reason, I am just always on my toes. 

There are emotional risks that are also assessed.  Will we be embraced or accepted as we are in this environment?  Will our hearts, both my child’s and mine, be safe in this space, with these people? I can make sure that a door is locked, or that there is appropriate physical accommodations made for our needs.  That part is easy.  It’s the emotional risks that often give me the most pause. 

There was a time that my heart had been hurt by watching how some people respond to us.  I was so afraid of my child ever feeling like he was less just because of things that are completely out of his control, and of myself feeling that parental pain of observing that, that my first thought would be to sit it out.  I never did.  I wanted to.  I wanted to protect us from the emotional risks so badly, that I’d consider missing the parts of life that make for a full and vibrant existence.  

I never benched us.  We never sat out, and you shouldn’t either.

Instead, the route I’ve chosen to go when it comes to shielding our hearts, is that of specific and focused prayer.  We go.  We are now making our way through the Christmas season.  A time of excitement and hope and waiting.  There are so many opportunities to encounter this pause.  Should we go?  Will we fit?  I no longer entertain those old fears when they enter my mind.  I take a deep breath and ask the Lord to guide our day, our thoughts and to be with the people we encounter.  I ask that he’ll grow their knowledge and acceptance through their time with us.  I ask that he’ll guide their hearts to be inclusive and accommodating.  I ask that they not treat us like we’re different, because we really aren’t.  And, I thank him for the grace he’s given me, as a parent.  I pray that I’ll be able to give that same grace to myself, as I navigate environments that aren’t set up for us, both physically and more importantly emotionally.   Finally, I thank him for trusting me with this incredible child, and pray that I am graceful in my parenting of him.

Not one thing has grown my faith more than this practice of specific prayer.  When the Lord answers your prayer directly, in real time, it’s life changing, life giving, and sets you free from fear.  Choosing faith over fear is no longer a choice for me.  I just plain have faith.  I’ve entered spaces after praying like this and experienced the most beautiful, caring and loving interactions.  I’ve met people that have become friends to me, and my child has also found real friendship and acceptance, as well.  I’ve felt that we were safe and protected, just as we are. 

This year, there are fewer opportunities for large gatherings.  If you do find yourself looking at an upcoming outing or event with that familiar pause, whatever you do please don’t sit out.  Take a deep breath and pray.  We are in God’s loving hands.  Always.

Written by BreAnn Tassone

BreAnn is a wife and mother to two beloved children.  Her 8 year old son is twice exceptional and has been diagnosed with PANS/PANDAS, and her 3 year old daughter is his most incredible advocate.  They both bring joy to this world in their own individual ways. BreAnn lives with her family in central Virginia.  She is a former Special Education teacher and serves as a volunteer at her church within the special needs ministry.  She is a homeschooler and coordinates groups and events within her community to support the childhood experience of her neighbors and friends. It is her conviction that all children benefit when all children are included, accepted and can live this life learning from and supporting each other.

Three Things That Give Me Hope – Part 1

So how hopeful are you feeling today?

As I mentioned in last week’s article, hope can be a fragile thing.  In my case, it’s not usually just one big thing. I can typically push through if it’s just one thing. I focus on what needs to happen and take that next step forward. No, for me it’s typically a cumulation of things. They can be either big things or small. I get to the point of feeling overwhelmed and can’t see the progress that I expected or hoped for.

How about you? What brings you to the point of hopelessness?

When I get to this point and sometimes I get there more frequently than others, one of the first things I do is pause to look back.

I look back both in my life and in scripture.

I look back at other challenging times in my life and see God’s faithfulness. Sometimes it is easier to see His faithfulness after you’ve been through it, than when you are in the midst of it. By reflecting on His past faithfulness, it helps me to refocus. I no longer just see the problems that I am in the midst of but I see the one who has been with me through the entire journey. When I look to His word, I see the Creator. I see the One who lead the Israelites out of Egypt and parted the Red Sea. I see the One who loved me enough to send a savior. 

When I see these things, it helps me regain perspective. It helps me regain hope.

One way that our family commemorates God’s faithfulness is with a jar of rocks. When we clearly see God’s hand, we write that God sighting on a rock and place it in the jar. 

For example, there was a period in our youngest son’s life when we had to hand make nearly all his food. This meant grinding our own flours, making special smoothies and many other specialty items. Sarah was having to do this with a blender that just was not up for the task. In researching, there was a special tool for the kitchen called a  Vitamix but it was way out of our price range. In the whisper of a prayer, that wasn’t really even a prayer, Sarah asked God to provide a Vitamix. Not only did God provide this for her, but He provided it in the color she wanted…a nice cheerful red color!

This is just one example, of God’s faithfulness and it serves as a reminder to us during those hard times when hope is hard to come by.

When we look back, God’s faithfulness becomes apparent and our hope becomes less fragile.

What is one story from the Bible or one scripture that serves as an encouragement to you? What is one way that you have seen Him come alongside you in the past?

Written by Jonathan McGuire

Jonathan McGuire  is  the father of two sons and the co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that comes alongside the parents of children impacted by disability on a spiritual and emotional level. You can follow Hope Anew on Facebook here.

 Hope Anew has launched the Hope Anew Online Community and would love to have you be a part of it! You can learn more at www.HopeAnew.com.  Due to COVID-19, Hope Anew is waiving all membership fees for the community!

Not Alone

I have often felt lonely as a mom.  It’s a weird feeling when you are always surrounded by little people to also feel so alone, but I’m rarely really alone. Sometimes the depth of my loneliness as a parent feels suffocating. 

Who could possibly understand this feeling?  Truly, I am not alone.  In Isaiah 7:14 and Matthew 1:22-23 we are introduced to the idea of God being Immanuel, God with us.  This idea of God being with us is an idea I quickly took comfort in. Knowing I was seen by God in my struggles brings me deep comfort for my loneliness.  God is so many things, but having God with me is a place to take shelter. 

The depth of God’s desire to be with us is so strong that He has sacrificed his Son to bring us closer to him.  God is our shelter, protector, healer, comforter, loving father, He is wise, loving, faithful, unchanging, merciful, gracious, creative and he is all these things with us.   

There are so many times my children want me with them.  They want me to protect them and comfort them, show them affection, give them affirmation and remind them that they are loved.  Even though I am an adult I still long for those same things. 

God with me, Immanuel, is where I can find the love, affirmation, protection, healing and strength to be filled and continue to pour out to my children.  My oldest daughter struggled to learn how to ride her bike without the training wheels.  She worked tirelessly for 2 years to be able to ride successfully.  The entire time she was working on mastering this new skill she did not want me to let go of her. 

Having my hand on the back of her bike was a comfort she needed. My hand gave her the physical stability she needed, increased her confidence, and was a huge comfort to her.  Sometimes I want to have someone’s hand on my back as I walk through scary or new situations. I want to have God’s hand on me to increase my confidence as I interact with my child’s educational team at her school and ask for accommodations that will benefit her.  It can feel so lonely to navigate the series of waiting rooms and overwhelming to read the educational and behavioral reports on my daughter. In these challenging situations I am not alone.  I have God with me, offering similar comforts to the familiar hand that guides my daughter on her shaky bike.  

When the Israelites were wandering in the desert for 40 years, God guided them.  God led them as a pillar of fire and a cloud of smoke (Exodus 13:21).  Wandering. For 40 years. And God was with them as a visible presence.  Do you ever feel like you might be wandering in a desert?

I remember before we began our process of getting our daughter identified, I felt lost, wandering, disoriented.  I would move from one failed parenting attempt to another.  Reading blogs, books and anything that could help me feel like I had a handle on how to connect with my daughter.  I was not lost, nor was I wandering, I was being guided.  Do you know what the Israelites did as they wandered following this mystical cloud and fire?  They doubted, they complained and they felt that they were never going to make it out of it.  I have been there, complaining, doubting and feeling like I would never make it out.  Although my daughter’s challenges are quite mild, to see your child struggle in any way is painful.  Navigating this with God is a huge comfort. 

God deeply desires intimacy with us.  He wants to be with us in all situations.  God wants us to go to Him for our needs before we go elsewhere.  God wants to sit with me in the unknowns and the frustrations and also wants to celebrate with me when we have success.  We are his beloved children and he would rather we spend time with him then be busy, worried or distracted.  God with us, Immanuel, is an unending relationship with our creator. Immanuel is seeking us, waiting for us and guiding us into a deeper relationship with him.  This relational time brings joy, peace, comfort, strength and more.  We just have to be willing to be with Him. 

To grow closer to God we should go to God in prayer, walk with God, sit quietly and learn His loving, guiding corrective voice. Studying His word is how we grow closer to the God in us, the God with us, the God who sees us, the God who loves us and the God who deeply wants to be in an intimate relationship with us always.

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Written by Naomi Brubaker

Naomi is a mom of 3 girls ages 7, 5, and 2.  Her oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and a visual processing disorder.  Her family lives in Richmond Virginia where Naomi leads the special needs ministry at their church.  Her background in special education and ability to understand parents from her experiences with her daughter give her a unique perspective in her role at the church.  Naomi loves to run, sew and take walks with her husband with any free time she has. 

The Power of Praying Scripture as a Special Needs Parent

My younger son has a speech delay, my older son a neurological-based speech disorder called apraxia that requires frequent and intensive speech therapy to learn to speak. He didn’t say his first words until he was almost four. Devastated by the lack of conversations I had with my children, one day I turned to scripture. Surely there was a passage or verse about speech that would encourage me, right?

Before long, I found two scriptures relating to words and speech that jumped out at me.

1. “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psalm 119:10

2. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

When my children finally said their first word and then slowly added to their vocabularies, I viewed each of those words as something sweet, something special to treasure, like an apple of gold in settings of silver.

I then combined the words I loved from both of these verses to form my new prayer for my children. I prayed for new “sweet apples of gold” every morning and on the way to speech therapy and I thanked God for the new “sweet apples of gold” after my children said a new word or phrase. I honestly love this phrase to refer to my childrens’ speech and love how it has become a part of my prayers, praying God’s own words to thank Him for the new ones my children could now say.

 After that, I became passionate about praying scripture and looking for scriptures to pray relating to topics that mattered to me and I wanted to see God move in. 

Praying Scripture For Your Special Needs Children

As a special needs parent we learn to advocate for our children–with insurance companies, with doctors and specialists, with schools, with churches, and within the community. But one of the best ways to advocate for your child is on your knees before the throne of God.

But it’s also easy to pray for the things we want. We might pray for God to move mightily for our children in ways that are not in His will or timing, and then we grow discouraged by prayer, and begin to question God’s love and care for us and our children. I have found that praying scripture is one of the best ways to combat this discouragement, because we are aligning our prayers and desires with God’s own Word and His desires. 

Here is a list of 15 scriptures to pray for your child with special needs. Feel free to print this list out and go through each verse one at a time. Consider praying one a day, or journaling your thoughts and prayers about each one. Make them personal to your child and your family’s situation.  

Praying Scripture For Your Own Special Needs Parenting Journey

The special needs parenting journey can be lonely. It can be overwhelming. It can lead to a deep grief, depression, and/or an overwhelming anxiety you’ve never experienced before. You may be struggling in your faith and believing that God is good and cares for you and your child(ren). 

I desperately prayed for relief and God felt so silent and so far away until I began turning to scripture and praying scripture for my own spiritual and physical wellbeing. By turning to and praying scripture, I was able to begin processing my thoughts and emotions in a godly, rather than worldly way and could hear the love He had for me and my children in His Word.

Here are 20 scriptures to pray as a special needs parent. These scriptures really helped me to let go of my own expectations and desires and trust God’s plan and purpose for me and my children. They restored hope and peace in my life and I pray they do the same in yours. Feel free to print them out and make them personal to your own journey, your own struggles and experiences. 

There is power in God’s word, and there’s also power in our prayers. When you combine those two powers together, get ready to see God move in mighty ways in your life, your heart, your faith, and your children.

Written by Jenn Soehnlin

Jenn Soehnlin is a mother to two young boys who are precious blessings and who both have special needs. She is the author of Embracing This Special Life: Learning to Flourish as a Mother of a Child with Special Needs.

Jenn enjoys blogging about faith and special needs parenting atwww.embracing.life. You can also find her onFacebookandInstagram.

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When I Feel Alone & Forgotten

Do you have any verses in the Bible that are extra meaningful to you and that encourage you when you feel alone, overwhelmed and like no one gets it? 

A couple of verses I love are Isaiah 40:26 & 27 which say, “Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. O Jacob, how can you say the LORD does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?”

I have lived out in the country most of my life. I love being in nature and outdoors. Throughout my life I’ve been able hike and backpack in a few different mountain ranges. At my current stage of life and where we live, a walk around the pond on our property or a short hike at the local state park still lets me enjoy nature frequently.

Several weeks ago, my husband and I were out for a walk at night. The air was so fresh and clean and prompted me to take big refreshing breaths filling my lungs to capacity and releasing it all. We stopped, looking up at the stars. They were so bright and gorgeous and twinkling. The sky was full of them. And we noticed a big, bright orange one that I had never noticed before. A quick check on a phone app quickly told us it was Mars. We stood there and marveled at it, then went and got the boys out of bed so they could see Mars too. They laid down in the driveway and we soon discovered we were in the midst of a meteor shower and shooting stars were regularly darting across the sky. I laid down on the driveway with them and marveled at it all. 

That brings me back to Isaiah 40:26, “Who created all the stars?...He brings them out…one after another, calling each by its name…not a single one is missing.” When I feel alone and forgotten, I find that it’s important for me to reflect on verses like this one. Verses that remind me who God is, “Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing.” I may feel alone and forgotten. But that’s not true. This God is MY God. I’m his beloved child. He created all of these stars and planets and meteors. He knows each and every star by name and brings each one out every night. How much more does he know MY name? He even knows the number of hairs on my head. He sees and knows my joy and my pain. If you doubt it, check out verse 27. And then there’s the end of verse 28, “No one can measure the depths of his understanding.” Not only does he see and know, he understands fully, completely, beyond measure. And, if he is your God, the same is true for you. You’re not alone or forgotten or overlooked. He sees you. He knows your joy and pain and he understands.

Written by Sarah McGuire, Co-Founder of Hope Anew