WILL MY CHILD BE ACCEPTED?

I finally watched the movie “Wonder” and I may or have may not have cried. Don’t get me wrong, the tears were manly tears. Each tear probably had its own little beard but they were tears none the less.

What was it that hit me? Was it the hard times Auggie faced? The initial lack of social acceptance? Was it the fear and trepidation that his parents dealt with when they sent him to school or the conflict they had when they were not on the same page about sending him to school? Or was it how Olivia’s (Auggie’s sister) life was impacted?

It wasn’t any of these things. Although, all these things were right on the money and in one way or another I could relate to each of them. While our struggles were different, I could relate to each of the challenges depicted and have seen them exemplified in our own family. No, the thing that got me was the acceptance.

After all the difficulties, Auggie’s classmates accepted him. They laughed at his jokes. They high fived him and gave him a standing ovation when he was given an award for being an exemplary person at the end of the school year. This is what made the tears stream down my face.

 I’ve learned to take the good days with the hard. But it breaks my heart when I sit down with my little buddy, talk with him about his goals and his top goal is to make friends. He wants to make more friends but social situations can be really hard for him.

 He wants to be accepted and you know what, I want that for him. I want the kids high fiving him. I want them laughing at his jokes. I want them to be seeking him out and to miss him if he is not there.

Do I care if he is popular or if he ever has a standing ovation from a group of peers? No, but I want him to be accepted.

 This is why I cried such manly tears in this movie, because not all of our sons and daughters will win over the hearts of their peers and be accepted for the “Wonders” that they are. We don’t have screen writers in place to tie beautiful bows on our situations and make everyone else see our children the way we do. And it hurts.

 Here’s the thing though, even in the midst of the uncertainty about his future and how he will be accepted. I have a confident hope and assurance. Even when I’m no longer around, my son has a heavenly father in whose image he was made. A father who will never leave him, forsake him or turn him away. A father who recognizes how wonderfully our children were made.

 “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

~ Jesus (Mark 10:14 NIV)

 Have you seen the movie, “Wonder”?  How did it resonate with you?

A PARENT'S GREATEST FEAR

I recently had someone message me and share some concerns they were having regarding their adult child who is in college. This person was really concerned about how the child’s struggles would impact completing college and their future ability to work. They closed by asking what I worry about for our son, Jordan, and if I had any concerns. At the heart of this question was, am I worried about my son’s future?

The short answer is, “Yes.” In the midst of being so excited and happy for the amazing progress he has made, it is easy for me to worry about my son’s future and wonder how his social/emotional struggles will impact it. It is easy for me to get caught up in the game of wondering. Wondering if he will be able to find a career he thrives at and enjoys? Wondering if he will get married? This wondering game can go on and on. If I don’t end it, I always come out the loser.

The future… How can two ambiguous words be so scary. These two words will strike fear in the heart of the most stout parent of a child with additional needs. I have had the opportunity to talk to many the parent who will refuse to even think about the future. Some parents offer a confident answer by sharing that one of the child’s siblings will take care of the child if something were to happen but many more just look back at me blankly because they don’t know.

The truth is none of us knows the future. I know what Jordan’s struggles are and am able to come alongside him and try to help him grow. He may always struggle with certain things but hopefully he will be more equipped to handle those struggles. That’s what we do. We take it day by day. We research and look for additional resources. We talk to other parents about what they are doing and we pray, because that is ultimately the only place where hope can be found.

We take comfort in Job 42:2, where Job acknowledges that no purpose of God can be thwarted. Why does this bring us comfort? It allows us to praise our heavenly Father because our son is fearfully and wonderfully made and when He knit Jordan together in his mother’s womb, He had a plan for him even at that time... That plan will not be thwarted. We look forward to that day spoken of in Revelation 21:4. That day when there will be no more pain, no more tears and our children will no longer have their additional struggles.

Are you the parent of a child with additional needs? We want to hear from you! What is your biggest fear about the future and what helps you overcome those fears?