Romance, A Divine Design

As I shared last week, I’m a complete romantic. To my core. I love romantic books and movies. December rolls around and I get excited about the sappy movies that will soon be on television. Jonathan teases me saying, “Let me tell you what happens. Boy meets girl. Boy has an ugly sweater. Girl has a problem. It gets solved. They fall in love. The end.”  I grin and say, “Yup, isn’t it great! You want to watch with me?” That usually earns me a kind-hearted eye-roll. Yes, the story line is basically the same in all of them, but I don’t tire of it. I love all things about falling in love

When I find myself longing for something that seems impossible to attain or to attain fully, I find that it often points to a desire placed in me by God that will be fulfilled in eternity. I think romance is one of those longings.

The thing I love about romance is that it involves being known, chosen, desired, completely loved and adored for who you uniquely are. There is no disapproval or disappointment, only delight, delight in each other over all others.

 Throughout Scripture, there are several pictures of God’s relationship with us such as potter/clay, shepherd/sheep, father/child, as well as bridegroom and bride (that translates as “fiancé”). He has proposed. And when He returns for us, to bring us to the home He has been preparing, there will be a wedding celebration feast!

Hosea 2:16, 19-20 says, “When that day comes,” says the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’.” “I will make you my wife forever, showing you…unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine.”

 This story doesn’t just follow the typical plot line, it created the typical plot line. Boy loves girl. Girl has a problem (sin). Boy rescues girl (gives His life, pays the price owed by girl to get her out of her problem – I John 4:10). They fall in love. There’s a wedding!

Are you questioning the falling in love part? Does it feel like a long-distance relationship before the telephone? When the doctor handed you the diagnosis, your child is in surgery – again, you haven’t had a full night of sleep in years due to the breathing machine, your child has no friends and your heart breaks with their pain, when your spouse says, “I didn’t sign up for this” and leaves. It can all feel like God doesn’t care for you at all, let alone that He cares with unfailing love.

If that is where you are at, take time to contemplate that He defines love. He IS love (I John 4:8). He has chosen you and He takes “great delight in you” (Zeph. 3:17). He knows the number of hairs on your head (Matt. 10:30) and collects your tears in a bottle (Ps. 56:8) and promises to one day wipe every tear from your eye and to get rid of death, sorrow and pain forever (Rev. 21:4). How romantic is that!

 

I find that too often I walk through life consumed with my tasks and problems, totally unaware of the things my Fiancé has put all around me to show His love for me and that He’s thinking of me. If His love feels distant, ask Him to show it to you and then keep your eyes open for little things He puts in your path to say, “I love you. You are precious to me. Enjoy this, my darling”. Tonight, maybe look up in the sky and remember that your Fiancé actually did hang the moon for you.

Written by Sarah McGuire, Co-Founder of Hope Anew

Sarah McGuire  is the Mom of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that comes alongside the parents of children with additional needs on spiritual and emotional level.

5 Things Parents Of Children With Special Needs Want You To Know

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to sit down with the parent of a child with special needs and ask them what it is like? More than likely you would be greeted with a glazed stare, both from exhaustion and from determining if you are safe person to share with. 

They say that the best way to get to know a person is to walk a mile in their shoes.  This really hits home with special needs.  Many parents of children with additional needs have been hurt by well-meaning people who have never been in their shoes and it is difficult for them to really share where they are at with you.  However, if they open up, and I mean really open up, their answers will likely have the following five themes.

• It is really, really (can I add another really) lonely. When plans change, it is not because we are trying to avoid you.  We do value you and want to be with you but our kids are our priority.  We’re sorry we can’t make it to coffee, the guys night out, to the women’s retreat, to the ladies night, or to the family reunion.  Thank you for asking and please keep inviting us. That shows us that you still care.
• It is so hard and exhausting and will be hard for you to have a friendship with us.  We are a package deal with our kids.  It means that we are always in survival mode and never able to relax because something is bound to come up.  It is having to be hyper-vigilant, a strong advocate and on the ready.
• We are just like you. We are ordinary parents. We are not “Super Mom” or “Super Dad.” Please don’t try to encourage us by telling us that “God knew that you could handle a special needs child.” Some days we aren’t handling it very well at all.
• We often feel judged as parents.  We have to be creative and think out of the box.  We know you mean well but please don’t offer advice on how to parent.  As parents of children with additional needs, we have to do things differently.  Please respect our choices. Thank you for being understanding, having extra patience, and compassion.
• It is hard but it is amazing and I am a better person because of my child.  I love them and can’t imagine life without them.

Next time you are in a grocery store and see that mom sitting on the floor, while her child is melting down, let her know she is doing a good job.  When you see that friend with the autistic son, let them know you miss seeing them. Love them and when you are able, be there for them. 

We want to hear from you!  If you are the parent of a child with additional needs, what do you wish your friends and family knew?