Beyond Labels: Seeing the Beauty in EVERY Child

Do you ever feel like your child is looked down on because of their disability or special need?

In the world, you often see a differentiation between the “haves” and the “have nots.” Those in sports are esteemed more highly than the shelf stocker at Walmart. The advice of those with the largest following on social media or YouTube is more sought after than the grandfather or grandmother up the street.

Sadly, this can even be true at churches. I hear of many parents on this journey in special needs walking through the church doors looking for community and eventually walking away because they are made to feel like their child is a burden. Congregation members treated their child as less than and not really valued.

If this is your story, I’m sorry. This Easter season, I want to assure you that God does not see your son or daughter as less than.

Here are 5 ways that we can see this in the Bible. 

1. Your child is created in God's image

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

This verse reminds us that every person, including those with special needs, is created in God's image and is therefore uniquely valuable and important in God's eyes.

 

2. God sees beyond physical limitations

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”

– 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV

While human beings often focus on physical appearances and abilities, God looks at the heart. He sees beyond a person's disabilities to their true character and potential.

3. God sees my child's struggles and cares for them

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to see my child struggle with challenges or disabilities. But I take comfort in knowing that God sees their struggles and cares for them deeply. God is close to those who are brokenhearted, and I believe that He is with my child every step of the way.

4. We are all equal in Christ

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” – Galatians 3:28 (NIV)

In this passage we can see that in Christ, there is no distinction between people based on their race, gender, or social status. This includes people with disabilities, who are equal members of the body of Christ. God values each person equally and desires for us to love and accept one another just as Christ has loved and accepted us (John 13:34-35).

5. God has given your child a unique gift or talent to share with the world

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." - 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

This verse reminds us that every person, including those with special needs, has unique gifts and talents that can be used to make a positive impact on the world. By valuing and nurturing these gifts, we can help our children to realize their full potential and make a positive difference in the world around them.

This Easter season, as we celebrate the death and resurrection of our savior, I want to encourage you that not only does our heavenly father know and love you. In the same way, He fully loves your son or daughter. He does not view them as a burden or less than.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.

~ Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

Written by Jonathan McGuire

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Jonathan McGuire  is the dad of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that guides the beat up, battered, and worn out parents of children impacted by disabilities and special needs through the spiritual and emotional challenges they face to Christ-centered hope and healing.

To The Caregiver Who Never Gets Time Off

“Be still and know that I am God.” Wait…don’t leave yet! Hang with me for just a bit, I promise this is for you. On my mind and heart this week has been the mom (or caregiver) who never gets time off or time away. I don’t know your name, but I’ve been you and I’ve been praying for you.

You have a child who needs constant care, like CONSTANT, like, you can’t go to the bathroom and have those 30 seconds of peace alone, or drink a warm cup of coffee with a satisfied sigh – a cold sip 2 hours later, with one hand occupied with your child, maybe.

No one else gets it. No one understands. Your child’s needs are so unique and significant no one else is either able or willing to care for him/her for a couple hours so you could just sleep, or breath, or step outside and look at the sunshine. You feel so alone. I feel your pain. I feel the weight you carry. I see the conflict in your soul – you LOVE your child! But you just need a break.

 And then there’s Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God” - like there’s time for that!? When your child is never still or quiet and you are on duty all day and all night, how are you supposed to find time to be still in God’s presence so you can know Him better? It feels like one more thing on our to-do list that will never get done, doesn’t it? Those impossible things that are forever out of reach.

Have you ever read Ps 46:10 and paid attention to the surrounding verses?

I’ll summarize them for you (because, of course, your hands are full and you can’t toggle to that other screen or grab a Bible right now)…there are earthquakes, mountains crumbling, landslides, turbulent oceans, flooding, nations in chaos, kingdoms failing. Then, “Come, see the glorious works of the LORD…He causes wars to end throughout the earth. He breaks the bow and snaps the spear...” And here it is, “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world. The LORD of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.”

Psalm 46:10 isn’t a command to literally be still and spend lots of quiet time with Him. It’s not a command to do something. It is a promise that He is a refuge, fortress, strength and that He has all of heaven’s armies to help address those troubles.

It’s our job to go to Him as our refuge and then “be still.” The Greek word used there for “be still” literally means “sink, relax” it could also be said “stop striving and let go” and watch His awesomeness (aka “know that I am God). Doesn’t “sinking” and “relaxing” (it makes me think of a bubble bath) while someone else who is unconditional love, all-powerful and with legions at His command takes over sound absolutely blissful?

This verse is not a call to do one more thing. It is a call for you to stop striving and to rest in Him, His strength, His protection, His care.

On those days and nights where we feel worn so thin we think we might just wear away to nothing and we don’t even have the energy to think anymore, it’s past time for us to cry out to Him as our refuge, fortress, help, Commander of Heaven’s Armies – it doesn’t have to be eloquent, even, “help” is sufficient - and see what He does.

I’d love to hear about it. I’d love to put a name to these prayers I’ve been praying for “the mom who doesn’t get a break.” Drop me a message, I’d love to pray for you by name!

Written by Sarah McGuire

SARAH MCGUIRE IS THE MOM OF TWO BOYS AND CO-FOUNDER OF HOPE ANEW, A NONPROFIT THAT GUIDES PARENTS TO CHRIST-CENTERED HOPE AND HEALING. YOU CAN FOLLOW HOPE ANEW ON FACEBOOK HERE.

The Practice of Breath Prayers

When life is swirling around feeling like it's out of control and we are completely exhausted, feeling bad about our personal health, spending too much time worrying, dealing with the same challenges day after day after day, it feels almost insulting for people to ask or talk about rest.   There is no space for rest.  The moment I take time to “rest” things fall more apart. Let’s be honest, even trying to use the bathroom is an ordeal sometimes, and a shower...please, not happening, right?  If there was a way to slip in effective moments of rest without doing any preparation, and without truly removing oneself from the needs of life, this could be a lifeline we need.  

There’s a practice I was introduced to in a mentoring class at our church called “breath prayers.”  This technique has helped me effectively recenter myself and get the lasting moments of rest I need throughout the day.  Engaging in the practice of breath prayer is an opportunity to exchange my stress and worry for peace with God.  While it is taught to be more of a full body meditation of breathing and relaxing the areas of our body we are holding stress, I find myself using breath prayers all the time without dedicating a place and time for quiet.  Engaging in this intimate communion with God is effective, and God ministers to us in exchange for the moments we turn our thoughts to Him, even if we are keeping a watchful eye on our kids.  

There is solid science behind taking time for the practice of breath prayers.  Breath prayers increase oxygen to our brain as our sympathetic nervous system is engaged when we are feeling nervous, anxious or stressed. This is our fight or flight response. Our body’s typical response when the sympathetic nervous system is engaged is increased heart rate, respiratory rate, sweating, interruptions to our digestive system and more. Intentionally working against these negative responses by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system is the science behind breath prayers. The parasympathetic nervous system promotes the maintenance of the body at rest.  Controlled breathing, paired with scripture, is what helps our body engage the parasympathetic nervous system and reconnect with God, rest and continue to press on with his strength and provision. 

Spend some time building your breath prayers and memorizing short scripture verses that speak to you in your times of need.  Breath prayers typically have 2 parts, an inhale and an exhale.  

Some scripture I love in the context of a breath prayer are:

Matthew 6:8-- (inhale) Father, you know (exhale) what I need.

Joshua 1:9 --(inhale) Do not be afraid (exhale) do not be discouraged (inhale) for the Lord my God (exhale) is with me always.

Psalm 46:10 (inhale) Be still (exhale) and know I am God.

Once you have chosen your breath prayer scripture,  inhale and exhale very slowly as you recite the words of the scripture to yourself. Breathe in deeply and slowly through your nose and feel your lungs fill completely. Try to focus on deeply filling your lower lungs/diaphragm so that your stomach expands while your upper chest remains still. Then slowly breathe out. The exhale should be the longest. Empty your lungs slowly and fully. Meditate on the words of the scripture as you breathe. Repeat several times over and over calming your body and mind more and more with each deep, intentional breath. 

I like to close my breath prayers with one final breath prayer--

(inhale) I am entrusting my _____ to you, Jesus (exhale) and let go of ______.

In a small matter of time, you have intentionally and effectively calmed your heart, mind and body, while connecting with God.  Even without changing your situation, or leaving the things at hand.

Written by Naomi Brubaker

Naomi is a mom of 3 girls ages 7, 5, and 2.  Her oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and a visual processing disorder.  Her family lives in Richmond Virginia where Naomi leads the special needs ministry at their church.  Her background in special education and ability to understand parents from her experiences with her daughter give her a unique perspective in her role at the church.  Naomi loves to run, sew and take walks with her husband with any free time she has. 

You're Grounded!!!

Let’s talk parenting!

 Parenting is one of the greatest joys and greatest challenges all at the same time. Overwhelming joy and deepest grief. This month, we’re looking at something we do daily as a part of parenting…DISCIPLINE. 

We want so much for our kids. We love them with everything we are and have, and yet so often our relationships with them are characterized by frustration, tension, and conflict. When we correct them, what we really want to see is heart change, but most often after a discipline issue parent’s feel they’ve missed the mark or that their kid just hard-hearted and resistant.

But all is NOT lost – there is hope!

In the Hope Anew Online Community during the month of April the theme has been parenting. There are 4 short videos posted there on the subject:

Video 1 – I share some philosophies and approaches Jonathan and I have come to embrace in our parenting after some trial and error and weeding through MANY parenting books & approaches and even counseling courses. I share some reviews of and links to those in the next blog post.

 I also share some things we do NOT do or STOPPED doing (because they were counterproductive, but the most well-known Chrisitan parenting advice says that’s exactly how to parent). And, I share some things we DO do and have found to be beneficial that’s rarely taught.  

Videos 2 & 3 – We take the last part of video 1 (what TO do) to the next level as we look at the book Discipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart by Jim & Lynne Jackson 

Video 4 – Is about the power of vision-casting and blessing in our kids’ lives.

If you are finding that parenting is an area that leaves you hopeless, exasperated, or isn’t going how you hoped it would (beyond your child having extra challenges), hop on over to the Online Community and take a look at the videos and see what your next step could be in disciplining and discipling your kiddos!

Written by Sarah McGuire

Sarah McGuire  is the Mom of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that guides parents to Christ-centered hope and healing. You can follow Hope Anew on Facebook here. You can also check out Hope Anew’s Online Community here!

Due to COVID-19, Hope Anew is waiving all membership fees for the community!

Not Just A Mom

I’d just walked out the door from the latest appointment with yet another doctor, I’d pleaded again for help, “My child can’t eat food without vomiting and screaming in pain for hours. Help!” I was still feeding him solid food as often as I could, always trying new things, and nursing him every two to three hours all day and all night. This appointment the doctor reprimanded me for my son’s poor weight and told me that I needed to feed him.  “Umm…did you even hear me? That’s why I’m here, because I’ve been trying that for a year now and it’s not working!” They didn’t even seem to listen to me.

This wasn’t the first doctor’s office I’d walked out of discouraged. It started with the first phone call to his pediatrician when he was three weeks old when he had begun screaming and vomiting and had continued with every new doctor we tried throughout the year. 

He was now one year old and needed solid food. But, every time he ate he would projectile vomit and scream in pain for hours, sometimes days. He was still nursing and did well with that as long as I kept dairy, soy, legumes, peanuts, oats and beef strictly out of my diet. I was down from my healthy pre-baby weight of 125lbs to 104lbs.

He’d gone from the 100th percentile on the height chart at birth to now the 50th percentile and his weight was currently hovering at the 5th percentile. Neither of us were thriving.

One of our biggest and hardest jobs as mom of a child with extra needs is being their advocate. Getting them the help they need and so often it feels like banging our head against a brick wall. I felt discounted because I’m just a mom. Yes, I have a M.A. (Master of Arts) and M.S. (Master of Science) but that didn’t seem to matter at all. Somehow, because I wasn’t a M.D. I was treated as though I couldn’t observe correctly what was happening in my own home with own child.

For me, I experienced being discounted as just a mom and not a professional the most in the medical arena. I’ve talked with other moms who’ve experienced it more in the educational sphere. It comes into play in other areas too like therapies, counseling, etc.

That was one of the last times I walked out of a doctor’s office feeling completely helpless. I stopped and pondered after that appointment. And, I observed the fact that I know my child the best of anyone on this earth. I may not have the answers or medical knowledge, but I was going to take my mom power back.

 From that day on I viewed medical professionals as people to consult with as I determined what would be the course of action in helping my son. I could not continue to wait for them to listen. I could seek knowledge, wisdom, and get input from them as well as from other alternative sources. And, I came to depend heavily on some of those other alternatives. But, I was the one responsible for and in charge of my child’s treatment. I am M.O.M. and THAT is the most important and best qualification in helping my son.

Written by Sarah McGuire, Co-Founder of Hope Anew

JUST KEEP SWIMMING

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." When many of us heard Dory say this in Finding Nemo, it became our life motto. As we work through the pressures of the day and are caring for the additional needs of our children, it can all seem overwhelming and we struggle to just take one more step.

This is partly why it drives so many of us crazy when we are told, "We could never do what you do." Most of us don't feel like we know what we are doing. We don't feel like we have extra parenting skills and we don't have this extra amount of insight or strength to care for our child's needs. We feel weak, exhausted and like we would rather do a back float than keep swimming.

I recently heard the following quote about parenting by Paul Tripp and it really resonated with me. "God knew our calling would be so huge and our weakness so deep that the only thing that would help us was Himself." Isaiah 40:28–29 speaks to this when it says, "Have you not heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless."

This is so encouraging to me and hopefully will be to you. We can know that when our child is melting down in the grocery store, God is there. When we can't go to church because our child's immune system is too weak, God is there. When the doctor comes out to give us bad news, God is there. When we are too weak to ask Him for help, God is there.

It is okay to acknowledge our weakness. In fact, please do. You might encourage others in their walks. We can see the Apostle Paul do this in 2 Corinthians 12:9.  In previous verses, he shares how he had begged God to remove a "thorn in his flesh" three times. We don't know what this was but God tells him in verse nine, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." Paul goes on to say that he now boasts about his weakness so that the power of Christ can work through him. When we are weak, is when God's power is most evident in our lives and He will receive the most glory.

I want to close with this last thought by Paul Tripp, "God hasn't just sent you to do His work in the lives of your children; He will use the lives of your children to advance His work in you."

We want to hear from you! If you are the parent of a child with additional needs, how have you seen God's strength in your weakness during this journey?

CHANGE PART 1

Change… What thoughts and feelings go through your mind when you hear this word?  For some, there is a great excitement and anticipation.  For many of you there is a deep weight that comes over you and a gnawing in the pit of your stomach as anxiety comes over you when you think about all the implications of that one word. 

Many of you who now struggle with change, may have at one point been huge change advocates but the unique needs of our children may have rightly left you a bit paralyzed by the word change.

This came to the fore front for us when on vacation this winter. My wife usually cuts the boys’ and my hair but during the rush of the holidays, she didn’t have a chance to cut our hair before leaving.  She also separated her shoulder so we knew she wouldn’t be able to cut our hair when we got home.  This meant finding a barber in a new area.  I looked up reviews of local barbers and found someone who would be close and had good reviews. 

The morning came to go get haircuts.  I knew that my youngest son was very particular about how his hair was cut and would never let Sarah do anything different.  Somehow, it didn’t occur to me how difficult it would be for him to have someone else cut his hair.  When we shared the plan with him that morning, he was on the verge of tears.  We were able to eventually talk him through it and I was able to get the exact measurements that we cut his hair at home.  With those reassurances, we were off to get his hair cut.  Upon arriving, his older brother went first so he would know what to expect and have assurance that the person did a good job. He watched and when it was his turn, he got right in the chair without a problem.  Now, he barely said a peep when the woman talked with him, but he did it!

Change can be hard for our little ones and strike fear in the core of our hearts but some change can also be good and even necessary.  There was no way Sarah could cut our hair and she needs to take a break for her arm to heal.  This was a necessary solution to help take one of the many things off her plate that she is trying to balance.  While it was a challenge for our son, it was also good for him.  It was not so far outside his comfort zone that it would scar him if done correctly.  Instead, it stretched him and was an area of growth.

How can we prepare our children for change when we know it is coming? Here are several steps you can take to help take some of the anxiety out of it:

• Before talking with your child about the upcoming change, come up with a plan.  Try to anticipate what fears and concerns your child may have. Is there a physical item that might help them with the change such as a weighted blanket or noise canceling headphones?
• Explain the situation and why it is necessary
• Listen to their fears and concerns without minimizing them
• Outline the plan and address their fears and concerns
• Allow time to process and adjust to the change
• Move forward and encourage frequently along the way. 

Despite our fears, change can be a good thing and even necessary.  What are some things that you do to help equip your child for an upcoming change?

Many changes are unexpected and we don’t have the luxury to always prepare our children for them the way we want to.  Next time we will look at coping with those unexpected changes. You can find that article here.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?"

“Can you hear me now?” In one simple phrase, Verizon highlighted and brought humor to a common frustration that befell many cell phone users.  We’ve all been there…talking away and eventually finding the line to be dead when we pause.  This leaves us wondering how long we have been talking to ourselves and at what point to resume the conversation when we finally reconnect. Or perhaps you have been in the position of trying to obtain some urgent piece of information like directions and the line is so garbled you can’t understand where to go next.  In one simple phrase, Verizon brought light to our desire to communicate and to be heard.

We all have a desire to be heard and this is an extremely meaningful way to come alongside families who have been impacted by special needs. 

In the three years that things were at their worst with our family, we only had one couple brave enough to invite us to sit down with them and share our journey and boy did we share our story.  We sat there over coffee, they listened, cried with us and didn’t offer a solution or other quick fix.  Now to be fair, we are fairly quiet and many people didn’t realize how bad it was.  However, that night was so refreshing and in so many ways it was healing just to be heard.  Did anything change in our situation?  No. But, we felt cared for, our pain was validated and we felt loved.

Listening is like any skill.  It takes practice.  Here are some tips to improve your listening skills to help those you are coming alongside feel heard.

·      Set aside time.  If you know someone is struggling, don’t give them five minutes in passing to share their heart. It will likely take a while for them to really be real with you.

·      Make eye contact.  Set down the cell phone.  Don’t take calls, check Facebook, reply to texts and don’t frequently check the time.

·      Be present…  Focus on what they are saying and not how you are going to respond.  Periodically repeat back to them in your words what you heard them say.

·      Acknowledge how they felt.  “Wow, that must have been…”  Don’t minimize the situation, over spiritualize, or offer some cliché response.  For example, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” is NOT helpful (or Biblical).

·      Love them.  When you leave your time together, they should feel loved and not judged.  They may be believing things that are not true.  As you develop your relationship with them, there may be a time to address that with them but that time is usually not when they are first sharing their story with you.

·      Finally, don’t avoid them afterwards or leave them wondering if they overshared.

So, “Can you hear me now?” 

What of the above tips can you implement to strengthen your listening skills?  Is there a family impacted by special needs that would be encouraged by having you intentionally sit down with them to hear their story?

“I called on the Lord in my distress, and I cried to my God for help.  From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears.” ~ Psalms 18:6 (HCSB)

JESUS WITH SKIN ON

Have you ever felt so emotionally and physically exhausted, that it was all you could do to just keep going?  Ten years ago, we moved to Fort Worth, TX in pursuit of a calling that God had laid on our hearts.  We were going to help bring his word, the Bible, to millions of people who had never seen it or heard it in their own language.  At the same time, our youngest son was born…allergic to all food, flat affect, unresponsive to the stimulus around him.  Sarah was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep per day if you put all the 15 minute increments together.   It felt like God had given us a great “calling” but then abandoned us.  One day, Sarah was asked by an individual how they could help…her reply, “She needed Jesus with skin on.”  Someone who could just come alongside our family, be there for us with simple daily tasks, clean the house, do laundry, make dinner, hold our screaming son, and let her actually get a break or sleep for more than a 15 minute stretch.  You don’t have to be in ministry for this to be your experience with special needs.  Many parents, whose children are impacted by special needs feel exhausted, alone, and even abandoned by God.  Without knowing it, they long for “Jesus with skin on.”

It can be difficult to know how to come alongside someone who is struggling, especially when you know there isn’t an immediate way to bring long term relief.  The chances are, that if you are reading this article, you personally know someone whose family has been impacted by special needs.  Here are some ways that you can be “Jesus with skin on” to that family:

• Pray for them (Let them know you are praying and ask specific things you can pray for that week or month).
• Ask how they are doing, and really listen. (You will likely hear the same struggles over and over…don’t judge.)
• Find tangible ways to serve them. (Babysit, get groceries, plant flowers and maintain the flower bed… Find ways that would be a blessing to them.)
• Send an encouraging note.
• Invite them to share their journey in special needs with you.  Allow them to share their fears and anger without judgment.  Avoid the desire to try to offer a “quick fix” or solution.
• Allow them to express and explore spiritual struggles they are having… Warning, this may stretch your own spiritual comfort zone.
• Avoid minimizing their situation.
• Instill hope without offering false promises.
• Be there for the long haul.  It will be a difficult friendship and will likely take more work to make it happen on your part.  Often you will be unable to relate to the depth of their struggles and if you aren’t intentional, it could be easy to drift away.

Who do you know, whose family has been impacted by special needs?  What can you do to be “Jesus with skin on” to that family?  If you are the parent of child impacted by special needs, what are some ways people have come alongside you that have been helpful or encouraging?

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

~ John 13:35 (NIV)

HOW ARE YOU....REALLY?

“How are you?”  Such seemingly simple words that are often used in passing. Acceptable social responses range from fine, good, or great.  Sometimes if someone wants to be slightly more real they will say “tired” followed by a quick laugh.  Have you ever met someone that you felt you could be real enough with to give an answer beyond the standard “good”? 

This happened one Sunday morning to my wife, Sarah.  We were in the church service of all places and during the meet and greet time, the pastor asked her how she was doing.  Little did he know how loaded the question was.  As she replied, and he inquired more, she could no longer hold down the emotion that she was feeling and she started crying (not normal for her).  She cried all the way through the service and all the way home, where she slept for the next two and half days.  She was spent…there was no more strength to keep going.

As parents, whose children are impacted by special needs, our natural tendency is to focus on the needs of our child over our own.  We neglect our health (physical, emotional and spiritual), our marriages and other relationships because we are so driven to care for our child(ren). 

When flying, before you take off the flight attendant always walks through what to do in case of an emergency.  Through that process, they explain the importance of first placing the oxygen masks over your own mouth and nose before taking care of your children.  The airline has realized that if we don’t take care of ourselves, then we won’t be able take care of our children’s needs very long.  They have also realized that our natural tendency, as parents, is to take care of our children first.

Christ set an example for us in how he cared for himself. When we look back at his time on earth, we can see him taking time to get away to pray, setting boundaries, seeking companionship from those who were close to him during difficult times and resting.

Below is a list of ways that you can take care of yourself.  Pick two or three that you can realistically do, even if for just 5 minutes.  You aren’t being selfish.  You are doing what you need to take care of yourself and your family.

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• Relax and rest

• Eat nutritiously (Avoid sugar)

• Exercise/Go for a walk

• Get enough sleep

• Talk about what happened (to God and others)

• Write about what happened (journaling, letters, e-mails)

• Laugh when you can

• Set small goals

• Keep some sort of routine

• Spend time with those who are supportive   and helpful

• Cry if you can

• Pray

• Reflect on the Word

• Sing or listen to music

• Know that the intensity of the pain will not continue forever

• Anticipate difficult times to come

• Ask for help and let others help you

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What two or three of the above things can you do or are there other things you can do?  How you implement them in your life may look different day to day depending on your situation but put that oxygen mask on. 

So...How are you really?  We want to hear from you! Please comment below what you plan to do or if there is something you are already doing that helps renew you.  Let us know what is working for you.