Dear Mom Of The Child Who Will Never Say, "I Love You",

I have often heard it said that being a mom is a thankless job. With all that moms do, I tend to agree that they are often not shown the appreciation that they deserve. More than 60 countries around the world have set aside a day to celebrate mothers. In the United States, tomorrow is Mother’s Day!

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In homes around the country, moms are being treated to gourmet breakfasts in bed. This often consists of their child’s favorite foods ranging from the always delicious chocolate covered cereal to toast and ketchup, which tends to be more of an acquired taste. They are being presented with beautiful dandelion bouquets and sweet cards saying, “I love you.” 

Dear Mom of the child who will never say, “I love you”,

Today I want to talk with you.

On this Mother’s Day your child will not whisper, “I love you” and you would love it if they brought you a breakfast of chocolate covered cereal.

Instead, your day will look very similar to yesterday. You may be in survival mode. Your child may be in meltdowns after trying to attend that special Mother’s Day service at church. Instead of smelling flowers, you may be smelling dirty diapers as you clean your teenager.  

Know this, while your child cannot say it in so many words and they may not know the joy a hug brings to you, they do love you. 

It has been said that, “Actions speak louder than words.”  

In our recent podcast, we interviewed Jason and Sara Hague. Sara shared that a pivotal moment for her was realizing that she needed to treat everything her child did as communication.

Are there behaviors that only you see? Do you have days when your child appears to do great socially but collapses in tears when they get home? Are there times when your child clings to you after the smallest change to their routine? Maybe there are times you are craving a break but your child will not allow anyone else to take care of them except you.

Through their actions your child is communicating that they trust you like they trust no one else. When their world “falls apart” and change happens, they cling to you because you make them feel safe.

If actions speak louder than words, then please know that in their own way your child is shouting, “I love you!” on this Mother’s Day.

Written by Jonathan McGuire

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Jonathan McGuire  is  the father of two sons and the co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that comes alongside the parents of children impacted by disability on a spiritual and emotional level. You can follow Hope Anew on Facebook here.

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