Summer Memories
I can often lose myself in the pictures and narratives people post of their vacations. While a picture is only capturing a moment and most of the time only the best moments, I can still be tricked by someone else’s experience, thinking mine is insufficient in some way.
Written by Naomi Brubaker
Ahh sweet Summer memories...this year has put quite a twist on any memories. For our family, it felt like Summer essentially began in mid-March when the kid’s schools closed for COVID. Although we tried to stick with the programming our country sent home, the plans didn’t really work for my family.
With a background in special education, I was ready to improvise and try to keep our family moving in a positive direction. We began adding special things to our day to help each day feel different from before. We worked on some school and some character building. We tried to learn to love the people in our house really well. While some of those things were easier than others, we made the days pass until school was “officially” over as best we could.
It has been a relief to give a close to the 2019-2020 school year and step into true “summer mode”.
My family has never been one to plan a typical week long vacation during the summer but rather take advantage of smaller opportunities as they come up and fit with the needs of the kids. We found so often in the past, planning a week long vacation never came at a good time. With the anticipation of the trip, challenging behaviors swelled and thoughts and doubts like “This is not going to be a vacation at all!”, “What was I thinking?” filled my mind and heart. We would walk into those vacations stressed and trying to calm an overstimulated/excited kid. On top of that, we often had a sick kid. My daughter seemed to be often sick and always right before our trips. Needless to say, it was not a good memory for my husband and me, let alone the kids.
While we have escaped illness through building her immune system and more likely limiting contact with COVID concerns, advance planning and long trips just doesn’t work for our family. We have settled into the spontaneity of short trips and day visits that work well for us. The difficult part for me is fighting the comparison of other people’s experiences. I can often lose myself in the pictures and narratives people post of their vacations. While a picture is only capturing a moment and most of the time only the best moments, I can still be tricked by someone else’s experience, thinking mine is insufficient in some way.
Since “Summer” abruptly began for us in March, we began a paper chain of good things from our day. The idea at the time was I wanted and needed a way to know when life would go back to a normal rhythm. I wanted to know when the bus was coming back down my street. I wanted to know when I would have my 2 hours to breathe and run my errands, squeeze in a work call and brush my teeth before noon! Since that was a big unknown and still is, I wanted to mark each day with a positive by adding links to a paper chain.
The kids and my husband got into the idea and each night at dinner we add a paper link to mark a happy memory from our wacky day. There was always something to add. We have continued with this each evening adding different color links to mark the happy memories amidst the blur of days that drag on. Each day still feels like a tiring Saturday in which my husband and I are trying to work and nurture children. In the middle of this grind, we are able to intentionally acknowledge the good things with our children. The paper link helps each of us look for the happy and still anticipate the future with joy. My middle daughter asked the other night if we could decorate the Christmas tree with the paper links. We are 5 months away from Christmas, but she is already looking forward to it. For me, thinking ahead to Christmas reminds me of the ground we have already covered and the challenges we have overcome with so much change and unknown in our life all at once.
Reflecting on the time and memories captured in these links gives such a positive view of what we have gone through and a hopeful outlook for the coming months.
This summer is off to a good start for our family. We are sneaking quick trips in between virtual summer school and tele-therapy sessions. The great joy comes at the end of the day when I get to hear what part of the day was remarkable for one of the kids or my husband. We have added links saying “swimming” in the spout pool, berry picking, finished the first chapter book alone, took off training wheels, beautiful sunset and someone even added time as a family…
Written by Naomi Brubaker
Naomi is a mom of 3 girls ages 7, 5, and 2. Her oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and a visual processing disorder. Her family lives in Richmond Virginia where Naomi leads the special needs ministry at their church.
Her background in special education and ability to understand parents from her experiences with her daughter give her a unique perspective in her role at the church.
Naomi loves to run, sew and take walks with her husband with any free time she has.
Focus On The Good
There are days when the concerns could drown everything good out. And it feels as if I run from one problem to quickly trouble shoot the next.
Written by Cathy Porter
There is simply an overwhelming number of things that I can genuinely find myself concerned about at the moment. What hasn’t been turned on its head, what hasn’t been pushed to the limit?! My head is spinning just trying to keep up with the changes that have had to happen within our family home to make any learning happen over the last couple of months, and now the changes happening outside the home looking towards summer as lock down eases slowly but surely.
There are days when the concerns could drown everything good out. And it feels as if I run from one problem to quickly trouble shoot the next. Juggling constantly just to keep everything and everyone going as we all struggle to adjust to new ways of having to work, not being able to meet people the way we’re used to, and not having the usual supports and routines to lean on. In the midst of it all, I’ve been asked to take up a paid job – part time thank goodness – and a huge privilege to be offered. I’ll be working in our local high school as their chaplain. One of the things I get involved in as you can imagine is delivering reflections and collective worship opportunities – all virtually at the moment of course. This week I’m putting together (in between everything else on my plate) some thoughts about resilience and staying positive.
I’m looking at a little verse from the Bible, in a little letter called Philippians. After reminding us to take our worries to God in prayer it says this:
‘..whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things’.
Sound advice – written well before mindfulness and CBT became ‘a thing’ here it is – a little note from God simply reminding us how good it is for us to put our focus on the good stuff. Let’s face it, we never need reminding to focus in on the negative! How I need reminding to look for the good in the everyday.
Moving into summer, I want to find some time to document the good we’ve shared during this surreal and unexpected few months. I’ve taken photos of all our new experiences, of us doing our work in new and strange places in the house – of the tent where our youngest has done her school work (when willing), and of all the moments of unexpected laughter and fun. I need to remind myself that there has been good, and beautiful alongside the tough and relentless.
I wonder if we might all jot down our best memories of the month, or draw how we’ve felt when we’ve had a fun day at home together so that, together with the photos, we can put together a family scrapbook of our experience of lock down – reminding ourselves to focus on all that is good in the midst of what has been, for many of us, a really hard time!
Written by Cathy Porter
Cathy and her husband, Andrew, have 3 children. Her two girls both a diagnosis of ASC. You can follow the ups and downs of family life & faith on her blog: www.clearlynurturing.wordpress.com.
It is Cathy’s heart to encourage families to share in the adventure of faith together, especially families beautifully shaped by ASC. She loves to write stories that make the reader think, ask questions about what we believe, and help the reader to discover what the Bible has to say about God and friendship with him.
Summer To Remember
It’s July! This means the start of a new month and a new theme in our online community! What memories, thoughts, scents, events, and feelings does July inspire for you?
It’s July! This means the start of a new month and a new theme in our online community! What memories, thoughts, scents, events, and feelings does July inspire for you?
For me, it's the feel of sunshine on my skin. Thoughts of parades, fireworks, family gatherings, bike riding, picnics, sandy beaches (I grew up close to Lake Michigan), weeding the garden, the sound of corn growing, the feel of garden dirt and yard grass between my toes, playing in the sprinkler, the tastes of sweet corn dripping with butter and watermelon.
As I think of this, I realize these are mostly all from when I was a kid.
Since I've become an adult, I have rarely taken the time to slow down enough to soak in the sensations, scents and joy of summer. Summer was my favorite season as a kid. While I now also love spring and fall, I still love summer. My birthday is also in July, so that's just a cherry on top of the already delicious treat of summer!
As I reflect on these memories, I want to enjoy them again and create them for my kids. Not only will this create amazing memories for them, there are other benefits too! Like strengthening our family and relieving stress, and who of us doesn't need a little - or a lot - of stress relief!
So, our theme this month is (drumroll)... Summer To Remember!!!
And we mean this in a positive way, not because of the pandemic, lol. We can create times of amazing memories with our family regardless of the pandemic. Activities can be simple and cheap or free, simply by intentionally selecting some activities to do together this summer and checking them off as you go can help make your summer a Summer To Remember!
We have a cute, free download graphic chart for you to print and fill in with your family. Get suggestions from your kids and significant other and write them down. Plan to incorporate them throughout the next month or two and check them off as you go. If you are challenged coming up with ideas, we've got you covered. We are also offering a free download of 101 ideas for you to use as-is or to help jump start your own ideas.
Don't make it overcomplicated or something you have to put a lot of energy or $ into and let that stop you. Did you notice the things I remember about summer from my childhood? Grass and dirt between my toes - how often do we walk outside barefoot now? Soaking up the sunshine. Cloud shapes. Watermelon. Playing in a sprinkler. Stargazing.
These are your action steps:
Print the chart and 100 ideas list.
Choose ideas from the list or brainstorm your own.
Fill in your family's chart.
Begin making it a Summer To Remember!
Share your adventures with us in the community! We can't wait to see all the memories you're making with your family.
Join us in the Hope Anew Online Community to get the free downloads. Go to members.HopeAnew.com and join for free!
Written by Sarah McGuire
