Adventures In Faith
My husband and I were traveling to visit my grandparents in Florida. We were leaving from our small Richmond airport. We always look around for people we may know or recognize even when in larger airports, because you never know who else is on the go. I did not recognize anyone around our terminal, but recognized a very familiar sound. I turned to my husband and said, “That’s J!”. He was surprised that I could recognize a child by the sounds and his voice in this busy airport….
Written by Naomi Brubaker
What feels like a very long time ago, I was in a unique situation. It was an opportunity for me to be used by God as a means to bring peace and comfort to a whole family without me even realizing it. My husband and I were traveling to visit my grandparents in Florida. We were leaving from our small Richmond airport. We always look around for people we may know or recognize even when in larger airports, because you never know who else is on the go. I did not recognize anyone around our terminal, but recognized a very familiar sound. I turned to my husband and said, “That’s J!”. He was surprised that I could recognize a child by the sounds and his voice in this busy airport.
I spotted them in the terminal seating area and went over to introduce myself. I taught at this boy’s small private school for kids with autism in another classroom. The whole family was traveling to Florida for an experimental trial and then of course Disney. They were nervous and so was J. I could tell by the sounds he was making that he was teetering on the edge of a meltdown in the middle of the airport. I feared what a small space of the airplane would feel like for him. I told the family that if they needed any help while on the plane to come find me and I gave them my seat/row number.
We all boarded the plane, J and his family were close to the front on the plane, while my husband and I were towards the back. Not long after taking off, the seatbelt light clicked off and almost immediately J’s sister was at my row. Out of breath, she quickly said, “Were you serious about helping us?” I kindly said “Yes” and left my husband to see how I could be of any support to this family. When I got to J’s row, his mom was sitting next to him trying to calm him down. The look of panic was replaced with relief when she saw me standing there willing to help. She simply said “I just don’t know what to do.” I told her it was totally fine and she could sit with my husband if she wanted to during the flight. She passed over the reins of her intricate boy and bag of goldfish and breathed a timid breath as she walked back to my old seat.
J and I settled in for an exciting 2 hour ride to the Orlando airport. I used lots of distraction techniques to help him stay seated in the small confines of his seat. I helped him use the tiny bathroom with the VERY loud toilet and wash his hands in a sink unlike any he had used before. We ordered drinks and snacks and talked about what it was like to be in the clouds. There were moments when I thought I was going to have a bad situation on my hands, and then we recovered into a safe space. It really tested my ability to remain calm and loving to him in this environment packed with people. We landed in Florida and got off the plane and we all reunited in the terminal space, me with my husband and J with his family. They asked when my return flight was so we could travel together on the way back. It felt so good to be able to care for this family during the stress of traveling. It is a plane ride I will never forget.
I am so proud of this family’s bravery to ask for help. There are so many times I am hesitant to ask for help because I don’t want my own weakness exposed, especially when it comes to my parenting. 2 Corinthians 12:19 says exactly this- "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. “
I honor this family's ability to recognize their needs and their limits while still stepping out of their comfort zone to travel and stretch themselves.
Psalm 16:5-6 says, “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup, you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” God has given us limits for our good and we must recognize and honor them.
This family trusted God would provide and they trusted me, a complete stranger. This trust allowed them to widen the circle of care not only for their son, but for their whole family. They kept their eyes open to what God’s provision would look like and acted when they needed. The family stuck together and supported each other in this challenging circumstance. Rather than blaming or feeling guilty, they celebrated the fact they could receive help.
Now as a mother, traveling feels as exhausting as it must have for this family…it feels scary too. Will I be able to provide for the needs of my family when we step away from our systems, structure, predictability and comforts of our home? The answer is unfortunately “no”, I will not be able to provide and protect as I typically do, but God will. Not only that, leaving the comfort zone and relying on God brings growth, family unity and adventure.
So, plan for God to step in where you know you will not be enough and be ready when He brings unlikely answers to your needs.
Written by Naomi Brubaker
Naomi is a mom of 3 girls ages 7, 5, and 2. Her oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and a visual processing disorder. Her family lives in Richmond Virginia where Naomi leads the special needs ministry at their church. Her background in special education and ability to understand parents from her experiences with her daughter give her a unique perspective in her role at the church. Naomi loves to run, sew and take walks with her husband with any free time she has.
Stages In The Parenting Journey Part 2
Last week, I began this series by sharing about this epic adventure our family is on. If you missed it, you can read it here. This journey our family is on share a lot of similarities to the journey in special needs and has four stages. This week, I will look at stage two.
Written by Sarah McGuire
Last week, I began this series by sharing about this epic adventure our family is on. If you missed it, you can read it here. This journey our family is on share a lot of similarities to the journey in special needs and has four stages. This week, I will look at stage two.
Stage 2 – Shock & Research
We realized we had to move if I was ever going to have the chance to heal and recover my health.
Following that demarcating decision there was so much to do. I dove into research, as I’ve become accustomed to doing. What could be salvaged and what could not? What process it would take to save what we could? No one fully agrees. It’s hard to get a straight answer. In fact, there is no one size fits all answer to the situation. Not only is there no simple answer, there’s no straightforward answer.
After a fair bit of digging and lots of reading including books and webpages of specialists, we had to make a decision and move forward even though there was no sure answer. Based on the best information we were able to gather and based on the testing we had had done, we had to get rid of nearly all of our things. Anything that wasn’t solid and completely washable in a special solution that kills mold and breaks down mycotoxins had to go. No, surely not. This couldn’t be the answer. But it was.
In the special needs journey, an ultrasound may show an anomaly, a medical complication may show up at or shortly after birth, a developmental issue or regression may be noticed or occur between 1-3 years old, there are different demarcating starts to the journey. But they are all followed by a lot of research and figuring out what is next. What can be done? What is the prognosis? What does the diagnosis mean? How to handle the interventions needed whether it is surgeries, medical treatments, therapies, or all of them. Who goes with the child? Who takes care of the other kids? Who works to earn the money? How do we juggle it all? Mom and dad’s learning curves are steep. There is so much to learn, so much that is yet unknown, so many decisions to make.
There often is no one right choice, yet a path forward must be chosen and pursued. You didn’t want to go this direction. You don’t like any of the choices. Is it possible this is all a horrible dream and you’ll awake soon?
To be continued…
Written by Sarah McGuire
