Organizational Strategies Are Saving My Life Right Now

Organizational strategies are saving my life right now, and my 94-year-old mother is the reason.

Our family is in a season similar to the early 1980s when my husband and I were parenting a medically fragile baby. Back then one medical crisis after another meant dropping everything, buckling our son into his car seat, and racing to the doctor’s office or hospital. Nowadays, calls from Mom’s long term care facility require snap decisions regarding her medical care or unexpected trips to her bedside.

Thankfully, I cut my organizational teeth as my son cut his baby ones. The process was drawn out and painful for both of us. Still, I’m grateful for lessons learned in those years because they taught me that organization can ease the stress of caregiving. Several organizational strategies are saving my life right now, and today I’m sharing seven of them.

#1: The Lazy Genius.

Kendra Adachi is host of the The Lazy Genius Podcast and author of two amazing organizational books, The Lazy Genius Way and The Lazy Genius Kitchen. She approaches organization as principles to apply in your circumstances rather than as tips that worked in her life. Her method helps me “lazy genius” how to deal with my caregiving situation, and it can do the same for you.

#2 Sticky Notes.

3-M introduced Post-It® Notes in 1980. I wrote notes to the substitute teachers who took over my classroom on a moment’s notice. Now I use them to write notes to myself about what I was doing before being called away. They are also handy for instructing my husband, daughter, son-in-law, and grandkids what to eat or not eat in the fridge or freezer. Those stickies are assurance that there will be food when I arrive home exhausted.

#3 Freezer Meals.

Yep, another food strategy. Because nothing stresses me more than having to think of what to feed my family when I’m emotionally spent. And nothing eases my stress like pulling out a freezer meal and leaving a sticky note with supper instructions (see #2) before dashing out the door to go to Mom. When I menu plan for the upcoming week, I make sure 1 meal is a recipe I can double, triple, or quadruple. 1 batch is for supper, and the rest are packaged and put in the freezer.

#4: iPhone’s Reminder App.

My daughter created several shared grocery lists using this handy iPhone App. Yes. Another food strategy. This time it’s because not having all the ingredients when ready to make a quadruple batch of something is also very stressful. And with 3 adults in the house who share cooking and shopping duties at several grocery stores, the shared lists let us communicate without convening a family meeting each week. Which I likely would miss when called away because of Mom’s latest health crisis.

#5 Electronic Library List.

This electronic list is available to card-carrying patrons of our local library. After I search for a book, DVD, or other item at the library website, I can click a button and add them to my list. When I go to the library, I pull up the list on my phone, find the item on the shelf, and delete it from the list. Your library probably has a similar system. For our family, which is deeply invested in reading, this list is better than sticky notes.

#6: Paper Calendars.

Wall calendars work for me in ways that electronic calendars don’t. It’s always in the same place in my kitchen. I menu plan and write big events on mine with Sharpie marker so a month’s worth of meals (More food. What can I say?) and events are visible at a glance. I also prefer a paper planner over an electronic one because flipping pages is easier than swiping screens.

#7: Pill Organizers.

Whether they hold vitamin and mineral supplements, pills prescribed by a doctor or over the counter medications, these organizers cut down on the “Did I take my pills?” or “Did I give my kids theirs?” confusion. I filled mine every weekend until a Facebook friend posted a picture of the 4 pill organizers she filled once a month. I was an instant convert. Not only does this practice save time, I can see what’s running low and order more right away. This decreases the likelihood of running out when Mom’s next health crisis hits.

These organizational strategies are saving my life right now. Bottom line––being organized allows me to better focus on Mom’s needs when they arise. However as you and I know much of a caregiver’s life, or the life of the loved ones we care for, can’t be organized or controlled. In those situations, God calls us to rest in His control over all things. When we do, He will reveal His sovereignty and provision in ways that lead us to deeper faith, greater worship, and confidence in Him.

Written by Jolene Philo

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Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. See Jane Run!, the first book in the West River cozy mystery series was released in June of 2022.

Caregiver Fatigue

It’s real. It’s literal. It’s pervasive. It’s all consuming. When we haven’t slept a full night, half a night, or maybe not even a full hour at a time in days, weeks, months, maybe even years we get kind of tired, right? Sleep deprivation is serious business.

Yet, who else could possibly believe this is often life for the parent of a child with special needs.

I bumped into a parent of a newborn in a store the other day and they mentioned how tired they were because their baby’s days and nights were switched. At about a week old, that’s not unexpected and we can smile through it knowing these days (and nights) will quickly pass.  It is just temporary. But when that becomes life day in, day out, night in, night out; it really takes a toll on us.

I know when my child’s needs were significant, and I rarely slept for a full hour at a stretch for 18 months. I was exhausted. I was discouraged. I felt so alone. We were relatively new to town and I had no support system outside my husband who was working a regular schedule. I was at my breaking point. Did I mention, I was exhausted? Like really, really exhausted.

I was still going to church many Sundays. The pastor became aware of my exhaustion one Sunday and in the following weeks he would ask me how I was doing. Over the course of those weeks, my answer didn’t change. I was still tired. Yet, as the weeks rolled by and my answer, “I’m tired” stayed the same, the look I got from him changed from caring to condemning.

A few years later, my husband and I were meeting with another pastor regarding Hope Anew and coming alongside parents of kids with disability and special needs and he commented, “I wonder what goes through the mind of a parent when they wake up in the morning knowing what’s ahead for that day.” I replied, “You slept?” He smiled and nodded in acknowledgement of his assumption and the gap of understanding even as he was trying to the best of his ability to understand.

As caregivers, it’s easy to feel forgotten, unseen, not understood because so few people have lived this life and our circumstances. They can’t understand the load we are under and the challenges we are battling through every. single. day and night. We often focus on just making it through the next hour or minute and can’t think beyond that.

I know someone who does care. Who does see. Who does understand. We are not forgotten or alone. These words got me through many a screaming (my baby), crying (both of us), rocking chair night, “He tends his flock like a shepherd: “He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” – Isaiah 40:11. I was a mother with my “young” and it promises that He will gently lead me. That He gathers me in His arms just as I was holding and rocking my little one in my arms. And He promises that to you too.

 Written by Sarah McGuire

SARAH MCGUIRE IS THE MOM OF TWO BOYS AND CO-FOUNDER OF HOPE ANEW, A NONPROFIT THAT GUIDES PARENTS TO CHRIST-CENTERED HOPE AND HEALING. YOU CAN FOLLOW HOPE ANEW ON FACEBOOK HERE.

Thriving When First World Problems & Caregiving Problems Dominate Our Daily Lives

First world problems and caregiving problems are dominating my life right now. They’ve made re-entry after a month-long trip to celebrate my husband's retirement rather rocky. Here are a few examples of what’s been happening.

The installation of our new heating and cooling system required punching numerous holes in our walls…including my office. The work was supposed to be completed while we were gone, but won’t be done for weeks or possibly months.

That’s a first world problem.

Hospice re-evaluated my mother after she had bouts of major confusion and agitation while we were gone, but she still doesn’t qualify for their services.

That’s a caregiving problem.

The morning after a heavy rain, we discovered a leak in the new addition just as a workman came to deal with a backed up basement drain.

First world problem followed by first world problem.

My mother keeps asking when she gets to move in with us. I keep telling her that as long as work delays continue and our walls are pocked with holes, it’s not safe for her to move in.

That’s a caregiving problem solved by a first world problem.

That final confluence of first world problems and caregiving problems got me thinking about how they’ve impacted my life in the past.

Our newborn son’s condition at birth was an age old problem. His diagnosis and surgery at birth caused a host of complications and subsequent surgeries. Those complications were first world problems.

Had our son been born in a different country, not to mention in a different day and age, he wouldn’t be alive today. In other words, first world solutions for his condition caused first world problems and caregiving problems that our family dealt with for years.

During those years, all my thoughts, all life revolved around my son.

Was he getting sick again?

Did he need another surgery? Another test? Another procedure?

Could I pump enough milk to nourish his body?

Would he ever sleep through the night so we could sleep through the night?

Only rarely did my focus move from the immediate, the urgent, and the life-threatening to a broader perspective.

Only rarely–very rarely–could I move beyond myself and our son and see the blessings God had bestowed through our first world problems.

Our son was alive.

Many surgeons had the training to correct his birth anomaly.

His prognosis was good.

We had a supportive network of friends and family.

We had excellent insurance.

We had good jobs and understanding employers.

On the few occasions when I found the wherewithal to reflect upon the goodness of our first world problems in combination with the caregiving problems they caused, my heart beat faster. My breath caught. Tears flowed.

I saw the goodness and wisdom of the One who will wipe away every tear from our eyes in a world where there will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain (Revelation 21:4).

I saw, not the first world and the problems it creates,

nor my caregiving world and its problems,

but the world to come.

The promise of that world is where you and I can find the hope, compassion, strength, and endurance needed to thrive when first world problems and caregiving problems dominate our daily lives.

Written by Jolene Philo

Jolene Philo is the mother of a son born with life-threatening special needs and the daughter of a father severely affected by multiple sclerosis. In her 25 years as an educator, she integrated children with special needs into her classroom. She’s written 5 books about caregiving, special needs parenting, and childhood PTSD. She recently co-authored a book with Dr. Gary Chapman about how parents of kids with special needs can use the 5 love languages in their families. Jolene speaks at conferences around the country and internationally, facilitates classes about childhood trauma for educators, and trains special needs ministry leaders and volunteers. She blogs at www.DifferentDream.com. She and her husband live in Iowa.