The Waiting is the Hardest Part
“Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors.” (Prov. 8:34, ESV)
My autistic, non-verbal son has several ways he likes to communicate with us. It is mostly through body language, some basic sign language, as well as through the communication app on his iPad.
There are times when his actions are very clear in terms of what he’s trying to tell us, such as when he goes to sit on his favorite stool near the door to garage. This indicates that he’s ready to put on his shoes. Putting on your shoes, of course, means that you’re getting to go somewhere: walking the dog, a drive to a favorite park or forest preserve, or maybe just shopping at a big box store. Mom and dad, however, are not always ready or, more specifically, willing to go on another errand or to another place for a long walk in the sweltering summer heat.
While we love the fact he is finding a way to share his needs with us! It does make it frustrating for us to honor his request but to also give him boundaries when it’s not a good time to go somewhere, or, I dare say, we are not in the mood to go. I often wonder about what goes on his head as he sits there and waits while his parents decide what we are going to do. I think about how much I would just love to be able to grab my shoes each time he sits on that stool and just say “sure thing kiddo” and off we would go on another adventure to wherever.
In a more profound sense, my child’s experience sitting on that stool and waiting is kind of like my experiences waiting on God for many of my own hopes or prayers, and how difficult it is to sit on the “stool” of life while we wait on an answer from Him. If I learned anything from this analogy with my son, it’s this. As his father he needs to know that I do see him, sitting there. I do hear him even though he has no voice to ask. I know from my son’s experience that I am equally seen and heard by God when I ask for what I need. While the waiting is hard, the comfort in being seen and heard makes it easier.
So my prayer is for the strength that comes in the silent knowing of His presence, that I will learn to be patient when I immediately want an answer for myself, or my child but that I know it will be answered exactly when it needs to, when He’s ready.
Written by John Felageller
