Stages of Parent Burnout
So did you take a break last week and ask yourself if you recognize the signs of burnout in your life? Some of you just thought, “I didn’t need to pause to know I’m burnt out.” Others of you are thinking, “I’m good. In fact, I think I will make cupcakes for our therapists when I can get out of the house.”
Did you know that you don’t just wake up suddenly not wanting to be a parent or not wanting to get out of bed. Burnout happens gradually.
How many of the following points resonate with you?
Having a child with physical or mental health challenges
Perfectionism: feeling you need to be the “perfect” parent at all times
Lack of support from spouse
Both parents working outside the home
Financial concerns
Not enough support from outside the family (childcare, extended family, etc.)
Finding it hard to ask for help
Over-scheduled kids
Many of us can look at that list and can easily circle between a third to half of the points and even come up with additional points. As the stressors increase, we become more at risk for burnout. This burnout can range from mild to severe.
In her podcast episode on Parental Burnout, Krista Maltais describes the severity of burnout as follows.
Mild Burnout: Mild burnout can start with some situation that is outside your normal that causes extra stress. This can be something as basic as caring for a child or spouse that is temporarily sick. These symptoms may include, short temper and/or limited tolerance, foggy-brain, heightened sensitivity to their emotions and environment, and is usually accompanied by disruptions in sleep patterns.
Moderate Burnout: A parent who is experiencing moderate burnout, perhaps due to prolonged sleep deprivation or other stressors (such as finances, lack of childcare, limited opportunities for self care, etc) may begin to experience additional physical symptoms such as headaches, confusion, forgetfulness, upset stomach, anxiety/depression, feelings of isolation and/or overwhelm. As burnout sets in, communication with others also tends to break down which can lead to an increase in conflict, misunderstandings, etc, especially with the partner.
Severe Burnout: A parent with severe burn out due to long-term exhaustion, stress, lack of physical/emotional/logistical support, and/or physical/mental health complications, may exhibit the above-mentioned signs as well as hormonal imbalance which can further cause a loss of sex-drive, insomnia or dis-regulated sleep patterns, and additional health problems. Burnout symptoms may also present as obsessive compulsive tendencies or a multitude of uncompleted/avoided tasks due to overwhelm.
The first step in overcoming burnout and preventing burnout is the same. You have to recognize the stressors in your life.
Next week we will look at steps to preventing and overcoming burnout. In the meantime, if you haven’t done it yet, download our free “5 Minute Vacations” guide and check out our friends at Run Hard Rest Well. That will get you started in the right direction.
If you find yourself in this severe state of burnout and are having suicidal thoughts, please seek immediate professional help. The number for the suicide hotline is: 1-800-273-8255.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33 (NIV)
Written by Jonathan McGuire
