Is It Okay To Fear?
Is it okay to fear?
This is a question I keep finding myself asking, especially with the current COVID-19 pandemic. As I talk with other people and watch posts on social media, I see an unspoken tension between families who are fearful about the current health pandemic and those who say, “Do not fear and be courageous.”
Families fear for their parents or spouses that fall in the high risk category. Mothers are fearful for their spouses and children who have “essential” jobs and still have to go out. Parents are fearful of losing their jobs or how to provide for their families if they have lost their jobs. Moms and dads are fearful of how to protect their medically fragile children and make sure they have what they need whether that is medication, special equipment or even special food for restricted diets.
I remember standing in church singing, “There’s No Fear In Love.” This is a direct quote from the first sentence 1 John 4:18. The entirety of this passage reads:
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Every time I sang this song, I would internally scoff and think, “Really…no fear.” Then I would get irritated as I thought of those who received a new diagnosis for their child and were scared or found themselves in a situation that was out of their control such as a job loss, cancer diagnosis or myriad of other fear inducing scenarios. I would half-heartedly sing through the song and move on.
If you look at the verse leading up to 1 John 4:18, it says the following:
“This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.”
“There’s no fear in love” refers to the day of judgement. Those who have a relationship with God through His son, Jesus, do not have to fear on the day of judgement.
So back to the original question. Is it okay to fear? Yes…but.
God created our emotions, including fear. Fear can serve a beneficial purpose. It can help trigger that fight or flight response. If a lion starts to chase you, fear pushes you to take action and to try to escape. It is like the warning light on your dash that tells you something needs to happen. If you ignore that low fuel light for long, you will find that your car will stop moving.
That light on your car’s dash makes you pause and put together a plan. You mentally go through the check list of determining how far you can go, when you will fill up and what gas station you will stop at to get gas. A plan is put in place.
Similarly, when fear lights up on our internal dashboard it should make us pause, figure out why it is showing up and then determine our response or action plan.
You may be thinking to yourself, you said, “Yes…but” when you asked if it is okay to fear. What is the “but.”
Have you ever watched a YouTube video or National Geographic show where a giant predator starts to attack its prey and the prey freezes in place? This is when fear becomes bad. When fear becomes all-consuming to the point that we are frozen in inaction.
It is also bad when it becomes chronic. When we live in a chronic state of “fight and flight”, our bodies will respond negatively. It will negatively affect our emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
So what can we do when we see that dash light? Next week we will look at four steps to walk through when we start to feel fearful.
As you look at how you are doing during this time, are there any dash board lights going off? If you are married or have children, do you see any warning lights going on with your family members?
Written by Jonathan McGuire
